The weeks of boredom looks like it might come to an end. The 'season' is about to start and am back at the helm from the looks of it. While I'm certain I can do it, there are others who worry for my well being (more mental than physical).
As for myself, I have already started filling my mind with what is to be done and what is not to be done. I have been given back captaincy (thrust would be a better word though) with the hope that I can fare better than my predeccesor and more importantly, overcome my 2006 failure to lead the team to the nationals.
I already have a few butterflies in the tummy, self doubt and all those familiar emotions. But I have nothing to lose or fear. I will give in my best, as I always do, as a keeper, btsaman and captain and hope that everything falls into place and the victories keep coming.
There is nothing more heartening to see a well thought out win and its my sincere prayers that the decisions I make are correct (faults are to be expected, but I would like to keep them a bare minimum :) ) and followed to the tee.
Its with a lot of hope, speculation and confidence that I agreed to this. I know I have the support of most of the players, Nikhil, Urmi and a few others who believe in me.
I just wish that I live upto their expectations and most importantly my own......
Friday, September 12, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Peace for our Children
The calming effect on the mind of an adult by a sleeping child is unexplainable. Maybe that was the inspiration for the soft rock band MLTR to write the song " Sleeping Child". Its a truly touching and wonderful compilation of all the things a child must be witness to when they grow up. Dont we all want peace and happiness!!!!
But we the elders are lucky in this aspect. We get to watch peace and solitude in the face of a sleeping child and that I'm sure is what we want for our children too. But the question is will they have the opportunity to see a peaceful world?
With the various terrorist attacks and the recent incident in Kashmir involving children as hostages has made me worry about the lives of children who will probably never understand what a wonderful world this can be to live in.
We are all to blame for this. Every issue that is discussed has politics or religion as its base, where is the human element!!! Cant we think for a Man from a Man. Does it always have to be connected with a persons associations and affiliations?
I know I am going nowhere with this discussion, but all that I am doing is introspection of the self. Am I too going to lay back and watch all thats happening around me and make no difference to those around me? Millions of men and women in dire need for assistance in the human form are milling around me and yet I have done nothing for them. The only solace I am getting is from the fact that I have atleast commenced the thought process within me. Someday, and someday soon, I will work to help the lives of atleast a few by making a difference in my little way.
Until such time, let me feel the calm with by watching the child sleep...........
But we the elders are lucky in this aspect. We get to watch peace and solitude in the face of a sleeping child and that I'm sure is what we want for our children too. But the question is will they have the opportunity to see a peaceful world?
With the various terrorist attacks and the recent incident in Kashmir involving children as hostages has made me worry about the lives of children who will probably never understand what a wonderful world this can be to live in.
We are all to blame for this. Every issue that is discussed has politics or religion as its base, where is the human element!!! Cant we think for a Man from a Man. Does it always have to be connected with a persons associations and affiliations?
I know I am going nowhere with this discussion, but all that I am doing is introspection of the self. Am I too going to lay back and watch all thats happening around me and make no difference to those around me? Millions of men and women in dire need for assistance in the human form are milling around me and yet I have done nothing for them. The only solace I am getting is from the fact that I have atleast commenced the thought process within me. Someday, and someday soon, I will work to help the lives of atleast a few by making a difference in my little way.
Until such time, let me feel the calm with by watching the child sleep...........
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Lessons I Learnt
My friend Jayashree bought me the entire 9 seasons of X- FILES.. That is something i bugged her about ever since she set foot in American soil and after three years I have got what i wanted. :)
This fascination for X-Files began when i was in my eleventh standard i guess... The initial attraction was FOX MULDER and nothing else and I guess that was how i viewe it for a very long time, even after it had ceased being telecasted on TV.
However, and believe me what I am going to say might seem stupid, I learnt something quite valuable from the serial. The pursuit of something that one really believes in and not stopping until you knw that the end has come.
The end, mind you, maybe good or bad, but heart of hearts the person who truly looks for answers or means to achieving their dremas, aims, ambitions, pursuits and everything else will probably be guided by someone far above us, to help us realise that we have reached the end of the long and winding road.
I am drawing a parallel with myself, because I believe that I know myself best. I have worked hard and I am still working (although not as hard as before) to achieve my undying dream. But off late I have begun to realise that my end is probably getting closer and yet there is a sense of calm around me. I have always got what I wanted, unless I changed my mind about something I desired, and so when my dream of playing for the country came a little closer, I believed that I could actually make it.
But today I know that I wont get there( there is maybe a 1% chance and I have been very bad with probability ever since school, so my guess is I wont play for the country) and that doesnt make me feel like I have not achieved what I wanted. I know and believe that I have worked hard in the limited time frame that I had. Starting at the age of 20 meant that I had to put my ambition on fast track mode and I did. But I guess I got onto the freeway and although I have tried really hard to get back into the highway, I realised that the freeway was leading me to another place, A PLACE WHERE MY SATISFACTION FOR HAVING TRIED WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME.......
This fascination for X-Files began when i was in my eleventh standard i guess... The initial attraction was FOX MULDER and nothing else and I guess that was how i viewe it for a very long time, even after it had ceased being telecasted on TV.
However, and believe me what I am going to say might seem stupid, I learnt something quite valuable from the serial. The pursuit of something that one really believes in and not stopping until you knw that the end has come.
The end, mind you, maybe good or bad, but heart of hearts the person who truly looks for answers or means to achieving their dremas, aims, ambitions, pursuits and everything else will probably be guided by someone far above us, to help us realise that we have reached the end of the long and winding road.
I am drawing a parallel with myself, because I believe that I know myself best. I have worked hard and I am still working (although not as hard as before) to achieve my undying dream. But off late I have begun to realise that my end is probably getting closer and yet there is a sense of calm around me. I have always got what I wanted, unless I changed my mind about something I desired, and so when my dream of playing for the country came a little closer, I believed that I could actually make it.
But today I know that I wont get there( there is maybe a 1% chance and I have been very bad with probability ever since school, so my guess is I wont play for the country) and that doesnt make me feel like I have not achieved what I wanted. I know and believe that I have worked hard in the limited time frame that I had. Starting at the age of 20 meant that I had to put my ambition on fast track mode and I did. But I guess I got onto the freeway and although I have tried really hard to get back into the highway, I realised that the freeway was leading me to another place, A PLACE WHERE MY SATISFACTION FOR HAVING TRIED WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME.......
Friday, August 22, 2008
The Week that Was
Its been a long time since I have done this and there is no excuse for it unless laziness can be termed as a reason.
I have begun listing down the list of people I would be inviting for the wedding. There are some names in that book for whom I have scant respect and in my second round of filtering I will certainly remove most of them. The reason is not because I want to cut down on the numbers, not at all, for me its important that those who come for the wedding actually wish me well and not have an iota of jealousy. One might wonder why the jealousy. Its just that there are a few in this world who cant be happy for others and for me I have alot of people in my cricket fraternity who think that I have got more than I have asked for and that I dont deserve it!!!!!! Yup its beats me too...................
Otherwise the week has been made up of visits to various docs, all for the same problem (in case someone assumes I'm a sick person, in the literal sense!!) and paying each of them a hefty amount. I am kind of getting sick and tired of this, but when i think of Urmi and what she has been going through for the past 6 years, my problems feel like the discarded pluto.. that small..
Preparations for the wedding and also underway. The first purchase was the jewellery. Its a nice piece of work, the pendant. But what was more interesting during the buy was what Aarti (SIL) spoke with the jewellers. It was fun and was certainly a learning experience for me. Quite a few interesting points came forward and everyone of it made sense. :) Good work Aarti!!!!!!!
Next week will involve the purchase of something very very important.. the 'thirumangalyam' and ' koorey podavai', the true symbols of wedding and marriage...... just a few months away.. Am I ready yet???????????????
I have begun listing down the list of people I would be inviting for the wedding. There are some names in that book for whom I have scant respect and in my second round of filtering I will certainly remove most of them. The reason is not because I want to cut down on the numbers, not at all, for me its important that those who come for the wedding actually wish me well and not have an iota of jealousy. One might wonder why the jealousy. Its just that there are a few in this world who cant be happy for others and for me I have alot of people in my cricket fraternity who think that I have got more than I have asked for and that I dont deserve it!!!!!! Yup its beats me too...................
Otherwise the week has been made up of visits to various docs, all for the same problem (in case someone assumes I'm a sick person, in the literal sense!!) and paying each of them a hefty amount. I am kind of getting sick and tired of this, but when i think of Urmi and what she has been going through for the past 6 years, my problems feel like the discarded pluto.. that small..
Preparations for the wedding and also underway. The first purchase was the jewellery. Its a nice piece of work, the pendant. But what was more interesting during the buy was what Aarti (SIL) spoke with the jewellers. It was fun and was certainly a learning experience for me. Quite a few interesting points came forward and everyone of it made sense. :) Good work Aarti!!!!!!!
Next week will involve the purchase of something very very important.. the 'thirumangalyam' and ' koorey podavai', the true symbols of wedding and marriage...... just a few months away.. Am I ready yet???????????????
Monday, August 11, 2008
Back From Mumbai
I dont think to most it would make sense but this is how my mind goes....
The four day visit to Mumbai under the pretext of accompanying Urmi for her IIJS show was fulfilled (no doubt about that i hope) but it also gave me time to spend with my beau, understand the city and hopefully act as a pre cursor to my life there from next year.
When I left from here I tuned my mind to accepting the place as it was. If I was going to live there then I should be liking it!!! There is no point putting up with some place I dont enjoy. Although this trip meant going out, shopping, eating and all that, at no point did i let my guard down. I enjoyed the city for all that it presented towards me. The traffic on the roads, inside malls, the rain, the dust, lack of walking place, Nikhil's friends, his house, his travel to office... everything that i did, I did it with a sense of purpose and understanding and guess what, I loved it :)
I met up with Nikhil's friends one evening and they were all women, three of them to be exact, each very very different in their own ways and each of them made me understand a part of him that would certainly help us both grow. You can judge a man by the friends he has, atleast i think i can. From what little in conversed with them, i know I too can gel with them quite fine. I think thats important for Nikhil that i can communicate with his friends, because they would form an integral part of our lives too.
Nikhil's house...hmm.. I dont know why there was an initial reluctance to take me there, but ultimately he did and I really liked it. You see I need to know his life as a bachelor and what he will be after the wedding on the home front too :) So thanks for taking me there. You have a cute house. This brings me to the topic of his room mate. Guess one reason why they do get along well with each other is, neither interferes in the others way of life and work, while they join together for things they need to do together. They had a good living understanding.
Well, four days of fun, understanding (tiny argument) and enjoyment. I had a lovely time.... :)
The four day visit to Mumbai under the pretext of accompanying Urmi for her IIJS show was fulfilled (no doubt about that i hope) but it also gave me time to spend with my beau, understand the city and hopefully act as a pre cursor to my life there from next year.
When I left from here I tuned my mind to accepting the place as it was. If I was going to live there then I should be liking it!!! There is no point putting up with some place I dont enjoy. Although this trip meant going out, shopping, eating and all that, at no point did i let my guard down. I enjoyed the city for all that it presented towards me. The traffic on the roads, inside malls, the rain, the dust, lack of walking place, Nikhil's friends, his house, his travel to office... everything that i did, I did it with a sense of purpose and understanding and guess what, I loved it :)
I met up with Nikhil's friends one evening and they were all women, three of them to be exact, each very very different in their own ways and each of them made me understand a part of him that would certainly help us both grow. You can judge a man by the friends he has, atleast i think i can. From what little in conversed with them, i know I too can gel with them quite fine. I think thats important for Nikhil that i can communicate with his friends, because they would form an integral part of our lives too.
Nikhil's house...hmm.. I dont know why there was an initial reluctance to take me there, but ultimately he did and I really liked it. You see I need to know his life as a bachelor and what he will be after the wedding on the home front too :) So thanks for taking me there. You have a cute house. This brings me to the topic of his room mate. Guess one reason why they do get along well with each other is, neither interferes in the others way of life and work, while they join together for things they need to do together. They had a good living understanding.
Well, four days of fun, understanding (tiny argument) and enjoyment. I had a lovely time.... :)
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Second Week of Cricket
When cricket starts everything else takes a backseat. That is both good and bad. For instance this is only the second time in two weeks that i have realised that i wanted to blog.
At home both parents and friends alike used to complain that when Cricket practice or matches start then there is a paradigm shift in the other activities I do. But this situation has currently changed, and this time its not because I was any less involved, but my friends and parents have become equally busy :) This does save me from all the lectures that i would have received if they noticed the hours I dont spend at home.
There is a certain level of commitment that I expect with reference to cricket from me and as much as I think I should not worry about how others in the team take, I cant stop myself from getting irritated in the obvious lack of commitment and interest. I have enough people telling me that I should not let others bother me, but just doesnt work. By nature I need to keep talking to my colleagues and discuss improvement in myself and others too. But the past week has been a rather quiet one for me at the ground. I have forced myself to keep mum to all the nonsense that happens around me and it is becomeing exceedingly difficult and so this blog today is like a mini confession of the chances of my losing my temper in the last week of practice. God please forgive if I say real nasty words to those who richly deserve it.
Hoping that things dont go out of proportion, I sign off..... :)
At home both parents and friends alike used to complain that when Cricket practice or matches start then there is a paradigm shift in the other activities I do. But this situation has currently changed, and this time its not because I was any less involved, but my friends and parents have become equally busy :) This does save me from all the lectures that i would have received if they noticed the hours I dont spend at home.
There is a certain level of commitment that I expect with reference to cricket from me and as much as I think I should not worry about how others in the team take, I cant stop myself from getting irritated in the obvious lack of commitment and interest. I have enough people telling me that I should not let others bother me, but just doesnt work. By nature I need to keep talking to my colleagues and discuss improvement in myself and others too. But the past week has been a rather quiet one for me at the ground. I have forced myself to keep mum to all the nonsense that happens around me and it is becomeing exceedingly difficult and so this blog today is like a mini confession of the chances of my losing my temper in the last week of practice. God please forgive if I say real nasty words to those who richly deserve it.
Hoping that things dont go out of proportion, I sign off..... :)
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Days of Never Ending Sleep
The camp organised by TNCA started this monday and ever sionce that happened, my days have been occupied predominantly by just two activities. One is playing cricket for almost 6 hours a day (which is one thing that i love most) and the other one is sleep.
As much as I love the game and playing it night and day, I dont like the fact that I get tired and end up sleeping both during the day and early in the night. While most of those who practice, yearn for this sleep, because some of them get back to work, I somehow dont approve of it much. When I was relatively younger I never slept after practice, instead I would be ready to go out and have fun. But I guess age is catching up with me too. :) But the enthusiasm thankfully remains and I guess thats the most important aspect. Thats what keeps me going despite a whole lot of problems that I have to face internally and once in a way from the outside world.
Anyway, since its the norm that sleep is the best form of recovery I will do it because if it is going to help me play longer then I will do whatever it takes to keep playing on and on and on and on and on.............
As much as I love the game and playing it night and day, I dont like the fact that I get tired and end up sleeping both during the day and early in the night. While most of those who practice, yearn for this sleep, because some of them get back to work, I somehow dont approve of it much. When I was relatively younger I never slept after practice, instead I would be ready to go out and have fun. But I guess age is catching up with me too. :) But the enthusiasm thankfully remains and I guess thats the most important aspect. Thats what keeps me going despite a whole lot of problems that I have to face internally and once in a way from the outside world.
Anyway, since its the norm that sleep is the best form of recovery I will do it because if it is going to help me play longer then I will do whatever it takes to keep playing on and on and on and on and on.............
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Life After The Engagement
Hours of speaking on the phone.. Million messages.. Mushy Talk..
This is what is associated with life after being engaged, isn't it?
Nikhil and I differ big time. We do talk, but for minutes. More often than not the call hardly goes past 5 minutes. The longest we talk will be at night and that too will be on an average for ten minutes. We wonder as to how people keep on chatting. Maybe we have understood each other sufficiently well and the need to talk over the phone is not essential!!!!
I wonder whether the fault lies with me, but this is not a fault, its just the way we are. I'm not the most expressive person (barring my wild temper!!!) but that does not mean i care any less. I infact care quite a bit about the people, its just that when it comes to telling them, I hold back. This is only me thinking out loud for us not being the usual lovey dovey couple.
But both our families completely disagree with us. We are branded as one of the most romantic couples on whom they have set their eyes upon and the only look that Nikhil and I have on our faces is that of a blank one. Are we really like that?!?!?! If we are then GREAT!!!!
Coming to whether I have changed post engagement is a question that i wish to pose to others. The few changes that i have noticed about myself are, one, i care about the way i dress. I dont deck myself and all that but I do ensure that my dress is not the ususal t-shirt and frayed jeans. Frayed jeans have stayed but other forms of dressing have also been accepted by my internal self. Thats a positive according to me.
Well the other thing is my answerability has increased. We take alot for granted with parents. Love and affection is assumed to be available in plenty and also we tend to think a mistake is always forgiven but now its not just one set of parents that I'm answerable to, I have another family and I cant take a few things for granted here. Got to exercise some restraint. My parents are certainly very pleased with that progress in me and so am I.
Nothing else has changed, I THINK. But if has, I would like those close to me let me know. (Nikhil you may not be able to say too many things because you know me as I am today, but if you have noticed something the please feel free to share it :)
But the most important thing is I am not going to change just because I have written about not being what other couples are like. I guess both of us like it this way and are most comfortable. So I'm sorry to all those who expected alot of romance, you wont understand the way Nikhil and I connect, from within.
This is what is associated with life after being engaged, isn't it?
Nikhil and I differ big time. We do talk, but for minutes. More often than not the call hardly goes past 5 minutes. The longest we talk will be at night and that too will be on an average for ten minutes. We wonder as to how people keep on chatting. Maybe we have understood each other sufficiently well and the need to talk over the phone is not essential!!!!
I wonder whether the fault lies with me, but this is not a fault, its just the way we are. I'm not the most expressive person (barring my wild temper!!!) but that does not mean i care any less. I infact care quite a bit about the people, its just that when it comes to telling them, I hold back. This is only me thinking out loud for us not being the usual lovey dovey couple.
But both our families completely disagree with us. We are branded as one of the most romantic couples on whom they have set their eyes upon and the only look that Nikhil and I have on our faces is that of a blank one. Are we really like that?!?!?! If we are then GREAT!!!!
Coming to whether I have changed post engagement is a question that i wish to pose to others. The few changes that i have noticed about myself are, one, i care about the way i dress. I dont deck myself and all that but I do ensure that my dress is not the ususal t-shirt and frayed jeans. Frayed jeans have stayed but other forms of dressing have also been accepted by my internal self. Thats a positive according to me.
Well the other thing is my answerability has increased. We take alot for granted with parents. Love and affection is assumed to be available in plenty and also we tend to think a mistake is always forgiven but now its not just one set of parents that I'm answerable to, I have another family and I cant take a few things for granted here. Got to exercise some restraint. My parents are certainly very pleased with that progress in me and so am I.
Nothing else has changed, I THINK. But if has, I would like those close to me let me know. (Nikhil you may not be able to say too many things because you know me as I am today, but if you have noticed something the please feel free to share it :)
But the most important thing is I am not going to change just because I have written about not being what other couples are like. I guess both of us like it this way and are most comfortable. So I'm sorry to all those who expected alot of romance, you wont understand the way Nikhil and I connect, from within.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Vague Thoughts
I decided that i was going to blog today but there is nothing cohesive in my mind and in my life at the moment. Everything is hazy and i'm not able to form a clear picture of how tomorrow will be.
I have often been faced with this kind of a situation simply because i have not worked in an organised environment for most part of my life post education. Work gets you into a sort of scheduled life. I know that tomorrow would be certain. But maybe thats also why i have not been able to settle down to work in an office.
I like it when tomorrows are filled with surprises, unanticipated moves and exciting activities. Monotony bogs me down. (But the monotony of playing is blissful. I can never get bored of it.)
To me life is full of surprises and blind curves that challenge not just the body and mind but also the soul. Involvement is of utmost importance. Even if I were to drink water i'd like to be involved in doing that activity... I know that i'm taking it kind of too far but I guess you get my point.
But what irritates me is that I am not doing what i want to do for a living. I have always felt that there are very few jobs that touch the heart in ways beyond expression. Journalism is one of them. Sometimes i regret not having bitten my teeth through my Pune fiasco. I would have made it big somewhere by now. But I would have lost out on Cricket and i guess I just couldn't do it then.
However i have now realised that i must pursue my career in a place of my interest, fitness and training. This again is something that will help make others lives better and that way make them appreciate the joys of living a healthy life!!!! :) I would love to make that small difference in someones life, it would mean alot to me and that I'm sure of.
Anyway, considering the number of turns my life has taken till date, not forgetting the turns that i have to manage through the day, I'm only hoping i live up to my expectation of myself...
I have often been faced with this kind of a situation simply because i have not worked in an organised environment for most part of my life post education. Work gets you into a sort of scheduled life. I know that tomorrow would be certain. But maybe thats also why i have not been able to settle down to work in an office.
I like it when tomorrows are filled with surprises, unanticipated moves and exciting activities. Monotony bogs me down. (But the monotony of playing is blissful. I can never get bored of it.)
To me life is full of surprises and blind curves that challenge not just the body and mind but also the soul. Involvement is of utmost importance. Even if I were to drink water i'd like to be involved in doing that activity... I know that i'm taking it kind of too far but I guess you get my point.
But what irritates me is that I am not doing what i want to do for a living. I have always felt that there are very few jobs that touch the heart in ways beyond expression. Journalism is one of them. Sometimes i regret not having bitten my teeth through my Pune fiasco. I would have made it big somewhere by now. But I would have lost out on Cricket and i guess I just couldn't do it then.
However i have now realised that i must pursue my career in a place of my interest, fitness and training. This again is something that will help make others lives better and that way make them appreciate the joys of living a healthy life!!!! :) I would love to make that small difference in someones life, it would mean alot to me and that I'm sure of.
Anyway, considering the number of turns my life has taken till date, not forgetting the turns that i have to manage through the day, I'm only hoping i live up to my expectation of myself...
Friday, July 4, 2008
Musings of a Mad Mind - 6
One of the most important memories of my college life was that of hanging around in our canteen. Not just for the yumm food there but also for the racket that we created everytime we put our feet there.
The entire process of team building is best learnt from the then Ethiraj College Women's cricket team. We used to have breakfast, luch and our parting evening snack together. We relished it more simply because there were so many of us to share everything with.
Our college had this custom of parting with five rupee coupons for their over rated sports persons (us inluded) and although there were totally just three or four items on the menu that matched our coupon amount, we all would combine our coupons(Including the tokens for those who failed to attend practice)and manage to have more than just a wholesome breakfast.
We all would invariable have the breakfast for the day, which would be either dosa (butter dosa, onion dosa, plain being the options) kichidi, pongal or puri. There would be atleast 3 forms of dosa on the table and everyone would manage to get their hands on a maximum of two pieces!!! This would be followed by Chilly cheese toast and club sandwich. After this would be the coffees, tea or fruit juices. Now, this might seem normal to all but imagine a group of 12 or 13 girls, very noisy ones at that, all wanting to eat everything and yet happy just to get a mouthful and letting out giggles, laughter and sometimes howls (cos someone would have missed out on one particular item).It was not like we were the only ones in the canteen, but we would be oblivious to our surroundings, simply because we were larger in number and hence appeared more powerful to the on lookers.
There is no doubting who would have made the maximum noise, MOI, and all for asking the others to lower their voices. None would oblige and i would join the bandwagon, giving up dreams of pretending to be the good one!!!!!
As a team we had to time our lunch to perfection. One we had to avoid the crowd, two the lecturers who knew that we should be attending classes instead of sitting in the canteen and three, most important, not to have luch too close to pracice hours.
College's official lunch time was 11.14 to 11.45. So that was the easy part. We would have had our sumptous breakfast only by 9.30 and so the first part was dealt with easily. The next part of our luch timing was to avoid nosey lecturers and although i make it sound like it was a massive task, it was easy, actually the teachers made it easy for us. We realised that the lecturers hardly knew us and so we went about our lunch business unnoticed.
The most common menu for lunch on most days (except fridays) was parota or veg stuffed parota with PBM (Paneer Butter Masala) or Gobi Manchurian. Imagine mixing tandoori with chinese.... it was AWESOME!!!!! There also used to be tomato rice, veg rice or veg biryani as a part of everyday menu.
The exception to Friday from our standard menu was because we had the best ever Sambar Sadam with Poriche Apalam. It was out of the world. The taste of that still lingers in my mouth. There used to be such a rush to get our hands on it. Friday was probably the one day in the week where we used to have an early lunch because sambar sadam was up for grabs only during the half hour lunch break.
The post evening practice times are one of the best. Not more than a handful at college, the canteen all to ourselves and the very relaxed owners of the canteen would be happy to entetain us, maybe because we would help them in polishing off whatever was left behind for the day!!!! :)
Apart from the thrice a day meals at collge, Urmi and myself entertained ourselves rather frequently to two other personal favourites, BAR ONE AND GRAPE KUCHI (as we fondly addressed it). BAR ONE was the best chocolate of those days, according to us. I somehow had the mood for it anytime in the day and as my partner was a sweet lover i didnt have to ask her more than once. So we were partners in sweet crime.
I must not forget to mention one more important purchase from the canteen.. the all important and life saviour SPLASH. I dont know how many would know about this candy like thing. Urmi's frequent fainting spells were handled effectively by Splash. It was almost like i was hoarding it. At any given point of time there would be ten of them in my bag, and that didnt stop me from replenishing my stock everyday :)
As far as the grape kuchi goes..hmmm.. dont know if i should say this but anyway.. this is the history behind it. This grape stick was a mass of grape syrup on ice, made by a icecream company SIVITHA!!!!!! It was toooooo good. It would leave our tongues purple and asking for more. But apart from our individual binges, would be this massive team lick. I cant imagine how we did it then, but atleast 6 of us would have that one single grape kuchi and sometimes a few more would join the lick :)
Unforgettable days those, unforgettable memories and the most wonderful moments of our lives. Will they ever come back????? No would be my guess, but what the hell.. maybe there is something better waiting for me and all of us from the college canteen...............
The entire process of team building is best learnt from the then Ethiraj College Women's cricket team. We used to have breakfast, luch and our parting evening snack together. We relished it more simply because there were so many of us to share everything with.
Our college had this custom of parting with five rupee coupons for their over rated sports persons (us inluded) and although there were totally just three or four items on the menu that matched our coupon amount, we all would combine our coupons(Including the tokens for those who failed to attend practice)and manage to have more than just a wholesome breakfast.
We all would invariable have the breakfast for the day, which would be either dosa (butter dosa, onion dosa, plain being the options) kichidi, pongal or puri. There would be atleast 3 forms of dosa on the table and everyone would manage to get their hands on a maximum of two pieces!!! This would be followed by Chilly cheese toast and club sandwich. After this would be the coffees, tea or fruit juices. Now, this might seem normal to all but imagine a group of 12 or 13 girls, very noisy ones at that, all wanting to eat everything and yet happy just to get a mouthful and letting out giggles, laughter and sometimes howls (cos someone would have missed out on one particular item).It was not like we were the only ones in the canteen, but we would be oblivious to our surroundings, simply because we were larger in number and hence appeared more powerful to the on lookers.
There is no doubting who would have made the maximum noise, MOI, and all for asking the others to lower their voices. None would oblige and i would join the bandwagon, giving up dreams of pretending to be the good one!!!!!
As a team we had to time our lunch to perfection. One we had to avoid the crowd, two the lecturers who knew that we should be attending classes instead of sitting in the canteen and three, most important, not to have luch too close to pracice hours.
College's official lunch time was 11.14 to 11.45. So that was the easy part. We would have had our sumptous breakfast only by 9.30 and so the first part was dealt with easily. The next part of our luch timing was to avoid nosey lecturers and although i make it sound like it was a massive task, it was easy, actually the teachers made it easy for us. We realised that the lecturers hardly knew us and so we went about our lunch business unnoticed.
The most common menu for lunch on most days (except fridays) was parota or veg stuffed parota with PBM (Paneer Butter Masala) or Gobi Manchurian. Imagine mixing tandoori with chinese.... it was AWESOME!!!!! There also used to be tomato rice, veg rice or veg biryani as a part of everyday menu.
The exception to Friday from our standard menu was because we had the best ever Sambar Sadam with Poriche Apalam. It was out of the world. The taste of that still lingers in my mouth. There used to be such a rush to get our hands on it. Friday was probably the one day in the week where we used to have an early lunch because sambar sadam was up for grabs only during the half hour lunch break.
The post evening practice times are one of the best. Not more than a handful at college, the canteen all to ourselves and the very relaxed owners of the canteen would be happy to entetain us, maybe because we would help them in polishing off whatever was left behind for the day!!!! :)
Apart from the thrice a day meals at collge, Urmi and myself entertained ourselves rather frequently to two other personal favourites, BAR ONE AND GRAPE KUCHI (as we fondly addressed it). BAR ONE was the best chocolate of those days, according to us. I somehow had the mood for it anytime in the day and as my partner was a sweet lover i didnt have to ask her more than once. So we were partners in sweet crime.
I must not forget to mention one more important purchase from the canteen.. the all important and life saviour SPLASH. I dont know how many would know about this candy like thing. Urmi's frequent fainting spells were handled effectively by Splash. It was almost like i was hoarding it. At any given point of time there would be ten of them in my bag, and that didnt stop me from replenishing my stock everyday :)
As far as the grape kuchi goes..hmmm.. dont know if i should say this but anyway.. this is the history behind it. This grape stick was a mass of grape syrup on ice, made by a icecream company SIVITHA!!!!!! It was toooooo good. It would leave our tongues purple and asking for more. But apart from our individual binges, would be this massive team lick. I cant imagine how we did it then, but atleast 6 of us would have that one single grape kuchi and sometimes a few more would join the lick :)
Unforgettable days those, unforgettable memories and the most wonderful moments of our lives. Will they ever come back????? No would be my guess, but what the hell.. maybe there is something better waiting for me and all of us from the college canteen...............
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Power of The Early Morn...
I have very often been asked, why the hell do you wake up early in the morning when you can enjoy sleeping and staying in your dreamland.
But i ask myself, dont I have to wake up to make sure my dream comes through!!! Only recently did i get this forward on my mobile, its a quote from De. Kalam, "Dreams are not what one gets when they sleep, but are ones which does not let a man sleep"
I wake up early to fulfil those dreams, quite literally, because i need to go for practice in the morning and the more i practice with sincerity, I can hope to achieve my dreams. But let me be honest, I do all my routine nowadays only cos i love it, I dont see myself fulfilling my dream and yet i will work just as hard because that alone gives me happiness and satisfaction. :) (Nikhil dont think am being pessimistic, just practical!!!!)
The other thing that makes early morning special is the fresh air that we get into our systems, rejuvenating us from within. It makes my mind calm and gives me the time alone that i need for the day.
Just imagine the tranquility that silence can bring in a day otherwise filled with noise and dirt (both to the ear and body). These are just somethings that make my day. There have hardly been days when i have thought about sleeping late, it just doesnt interest me. My colleagues and friends otherwise think of me as being wierd, but all i can tell them is, try what i do and let me see if you all can feel a difference in your day. But i'm also sure that most of them would probably come up to me and say that the only difference in the day was the fact that they felt sleepy for the remainder of the day. :)
I guess the reason i am writing about the powers of early rising is because I just love it and just as people write about planting trees, not using plasic and all that i'm writing about rising early.
This might thought of waste of time by many, but what the hell, its my blog and i'm writing what i want to write about. I'm sorry this is what i wanted for today. Please forgive me my dear friend and fiance. (Both great lovers of sleeping late and haters of early mornnig risers :) Love you both for being the exact of opposite for what I'm, guess thats the spice of life!!!!!!)
But i ask myself, dont I have to wake up to make sure my dream comes through!!! Only recently did i get this forward on my mobile, its a quote from De. Kalam, "Dreams are not what one gets when they sleep, but are ones which does not let a man sleep"
I wake up early to fulfil those dreams, quite literally, because i need to go for practice in the morning and the more i practice with sincerity, I can hope to achieve my dreams. But let me be honest, I do all my routine nowadays only cos i love it, I dont see myself fulfilling my dream and yet i will work just as hard because that alone gives me happiness and satisfaction. :) (Nikhil dont think am being pessimistic, just practical!!!!)
The other thing that makes early morning special is the fresh air that we get into our systems, rejuvenating us from within. It makes my mind calm and gives me the time alone that i need for the day.
Just imagine the tranquility that silence can bring in a day otherwise filled with noise and dirt (both to the ear and body). These are just somethings that make my day. There have hardly been days when i have thought about sleeping late, it just doesnt interest me. My colleagues and friends otherwise think of me as being wierd, but all i can tell them is, try what i do and let me see if you all can feel a difference in your day. But i'm also sure that most of them would probably come up to me and say that the only difference in the day was the fact that they felt sleepy for the remainder of the day. :)
I guess the reason i am writing about the powers of early rising is because I just love it and just as people write about planting trees, not using plasic and all that i'm writing about rising early.
This might thought of waste of time by many, but what the hell, its my blog and i'm writing what i want to write about. I'm sorry this is what i wanted for today. Please forgive me my dear friend and fiance. (Both great lovers of sleeping late and haters of early mornnig risers :) Love you both for being the exact of opposite for what I'm, guess thats the spice of life!!!!!!)
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Musings of a Mad Mind - 5 cont
Most part of my second and third year of college were spent on the field. If we weren't playing, then we were eating there or just there. We got too attached to our college ground and nothing could stop us from being there.
There have been days when it used to pour and yet the entire team would have assembled there, just so that we could be with each other. Such was our affection towards our ground that we decided to clean up our dirty kit room. I haven't worked that hard even at home. That took alot of effort on our part because that was the filthiest place in college and in less than two days, that room became our home. We had pillows, cushions and even a picture of "pillaiyar" hung there. Thats how much we revered the room and it was all worth it. It helped us spend more time in the vicinity of the ground without having to wonder, when our lecturers would go by without having to pass some unwanted comments.
At college if we were a sportsperson then permission to legally stay out of class was granted to us, with just a signature from our PD in a notebook we maintained. No questions asked by anyone from the department we studied in, if the notebook had the required signatures. There are many who misused this and often were not present at class nor at the ground. But we as cricket players didnt belong to that group. Anyone could be certain to find us at the ground even if it was pouring cats and dogs.
That gave both the teachers in the sports department and the mathematics department, to which i belonged, that I was trustworthy enough for a post in college, namely, Sports secretary.
I would however like to mention that I dont think i was the natural and first choice. Urmi was made sports secretary of the day college while there were quite a few names under discussion for the evening college.
But this time it was the turn of lecturers to make use of Urmi's and my frieindship. I guess it occured to them that we both would do well if we worked together and trust me, neither of us let their belief down. That was amply identified when we coordinated the sports day events successfully both when we were in our second as well as third year of college. Till date, it is discussed that we were the two best to be handed that esteemed post because, Ethiraj then was THE best college for sports for women.
Urmi and myself were awarded for our efforts both on the field and off the field contributions for sporting acheivements and that was certainly a moment of pride for us and one that we will cherish forever.
There have been days when it used to pour and yet the entire team would have assembled there, just so that we could be with each other. Such was our affection towards our ground that we decided to clean up our dirty kit room. I haven't worked that hard even at home. That took alot of effort on our part because that was the filthiest place in college and in less than two days, that room became our home. We had pillows, cushions and even a picture of "pillaiyar" hung there. Thats how much we revered the room and it was all worth it. It helped us spend more time in the vicinity of the ground without having to wonder, when our lecturers would go by without having to pass some unwanted comments.
At college if we were a sportsperson then permission to legally stay out of class was granted to us, with just a signature from our PD in a notebook we maintained. No questions asked by anyone from the department we studied in, if the notebook had the required signatures. There are many who misused this and often were not present at class nor at the ground. But we as cricket players didnt belong to that group. Anyone could be certain to find us at the ground even if it was pouring cats and dogs.
That gave both the teachers in the sports department and the mathematics department, to which i belonged, that I was trustworthy enough for a post in college, namely, Sports secretary.
I would however like to mention that I dont think i was the natural and first choice. Urmi was made sports secretary of the day college while there were quite a few names under discussion for the evening college.
But this time it was the turn of lecturers to make use of Urmi's and my frieindship. I guess it occured to them that we both would do well if we worked together and trust me, neither of us let their belief down. That was amply identified when we coordinated the sports day events successfully both when we were in our second as well as third year of college. Till date, it is discussed that we were the two best to be handed that esteemed post because, Ethiraj then was THE best college for sports for women.
Urmi and myself were awarded for our efforts both on the field and off the field contributions for sporting acheivements and that was certainly a moment of pride for us and one that we will cherish forever.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Musings of a mad Mind - 5
May 1999 will remain etched in my mind very vividly and why wont it. Imagine a girl of 18, weighing 62kg, just drop 15kg in less than 25 days, without making any sort of effort!!!!!!
Yes, thats me and i didnt realise this weight loss until my entire wardrobe seemed to be too loose for me and my jeans were falling off my waist :)
I smile today but those few days were of total worry to my parents. I didnt fall ill, didnt feel tired and yet i was losing weight like a deflating balloon. Coinciding with all this was my grandma's failing health. I guess thats why it took my parents to see this drastic change in me and it wasn't until a relative mentioned the fact that i looked very thin, on the day of my grandma's death that my parents took note of this.
Many people associated my weight loss with my grandma's passing away. No doubt that i was upset, but i dont think that it would have got me depressed, simply because, she was suffering alot and I was glad that the torture finally ended for her on June 22nd 1999.
Well after all this came the act of taking me to a million doctors, doing a million tests and they all said what i had been saying for a long time, I WAS JUST FINE AND HEALTHY. But as parents the worry seldom ceases and i think till this very date they are worried about my weight loss.
I have a tendency to think that God has something planned for us and only He knows why he does somethings. I'm assuming that this was also an act of God to make me a healthier person and help me play my game with more vigor and zest. (It is easier when your light on your feet ;)
But there was more to the weight loss than just the physical look. I changed internally too. I was never short of confidence ever, but the new look made me different. Its a feeling that i have till date.
It started with my sense of dressing. I was this salwar kameez type, who wore jeans and t shirts consious of my bulging sides, but now i didnt have to worry about it. The way people looked at me was not the same. I felt that when i was fat, it was automatically assumed that i was the non-fun type, studious and boring and all those and trust me i was none of that. But with the change in physical appearance came this feeling among those around me (barring a few and i guess they know who they are) that i was COOL!!! Whatever that means, but i am guessing you get my point.
I've wondered if i too have judged many a person with this kind of a pre conceived notion. If i have, I apologise to all those whom i have thought of differently. Its a misconception. Being thin, doesn't change the person you are. You only lose weight, not character but it takes alot of time for people to see it.
I may sound confused here but I'm not. I'm just telling you how people really are. For women, the way they look is very important to be accepted among people and thats a lousy way to judge people. I say this because i have seen both sides. It can sometimes get depressing. Today when people say, Aarti you need to put on weight, I go back to the days when people would say, Aarti you need to lose weight!!!! All this changed within days for me, no expense mind it, no talwalkars, no fitness one or any another weight claims by VLCC can match what God did for me..
Enough has been said about all this.
College life was so much fun duing 1999 - 2001. More to come
Yes, thats me and i didnt realise this weight loss until my entire wardrobe seemed to be too loose for me and my jeans were falling off my waist :)
I smile today but those few days were of total worry to my parents. I didnt fall ill, didnt feel tired and yet i was losing weight like a deflating balloon. Coinciding with all this was my grandma's failing health. I guess thats why it took my parents to see this drastic change in me and it wasn't until a relative mentioned the fact that i looked very thin, on the day of my grandma's death that my parents took note of this.
Many people associated my weight loss with my grandma's passing away. No doubt that i was upset, but i dont think that it would have got me depressed, simply because, she was suffering alot and I was glad that the torture finally ended for her on June 22nd 1999.
Well after all this came the act of taking me to a million doctors, doing a million tests and they all said what i had been saying for a long time, I WAS JUST FINE AND HEALTHY. But as parents the worry seldom ceases and i think till this very date they are worried about my weight loss.
I have a tendency to think that God has something planned for us and only He knows why he does somethings. I'm assuming that this was also an act of God to make me a healthier person and help me play my game with more vigor and zest. (It is easier when your light on your feet ;)
But there was more to the weight loss than just the physical look. I changed internally too. I was never short of confidence ever, but the new look made me different. Its a feeling that i have till date.
It started with my sense of dressing. I was this salwar kameez type, who wore jeans and t shirts consious of my bulging sides, but now i didnt have to worry about it. The way people looked at me was not the same. I felt that when i was fat, it was automatically assumed that i was the non-fun type, studious and boring and all those and trust me i was none of that. But with the change in physical appearance came this feeling among those around me (barring a few and i guess they know who they are) that i was COOL!!! Whatever that means, but i am guessing you get my point.
I've wondered if i too have judged many a person with this kind of a pre conceived notion. If i have, I apologise to all those whom i have thought of differently. Its a misconception. Being thin, doesn't change the person you are. You only lose weight, not character but it takes alot of time for people to see it.
I may sound confused here but I'm not. I'm just telling you how people really are. For women, the way they look is very important to be accepted among people and thats a lousy way to judge people. I say this because i have seen both sides. It can sometimes get depressing. Today when people say, Aarti you need to put on weight, I go back to the days when people would say, Aarti you need to lose weight!!!! All this changed within days for me, no expense mind it, no talwalkars, no fitness one or any another weight claims by VLCC can match what God did for me..
Enough has been said about all this.
College life was so much fun duing 1999 - 2001. More to come
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Musings of a mad mind - 4
Now where was I with my memories of college..
I dont remember but thats not significant. I think when i was into my second week of college I realised that i had two of students from my class who lived pretty close to my place. One of them i have forgotten the name, but the other one is someone i cant forget, Jayashree. If it werent for her and paddu i doubt i would have cleared my degree examination!!! :)
What they did for me can never be measured nor can they be thanked sufficiently. Not once did they crib about doing all the class stuff for me, while i was busy playing cricket and playing the fool more importantly.
When i was in class (which was ONLY during my first year of college) I was a royal pain in the arse. I never stopped questioning the lecturers. I guess they didnt like being grilled in their subject, because they seldom had answers :). I was as usual a last bencher. I had to add to my already existing personality assumption of being a 'Dhadha' by sitting ther... I somehow didnt manage to get a grip of the subjects and i decided not to hold on too much, which is when i decided to play cricket on a regular basis.
I dont recall much of what happened in class, for reasons that are quite obvious by now and so i dont think i can dwell on it much.
But yes, there is something i have to mention.. my SIZE..
For those who know me now they will not relate to they way i used to look then, I was FAT!!! Thats an understatement of the century. The look i had when i stepped into college, might have made some wonder if i were a student or a lecturer and the second choice would have been a clear winner for the answer. :)
But the story became quite the oppsite after our first year break. May 1999, I changed completely, looks wise and i guess that also made me change in more ways than i think it did.
I have often thought about it and now the picture seems to get a little clearer.
There is more to losing 15kg than just looks. It also changes ones personality and the way others look at you.
I have some chores to do now. But i sure will love to write the rest of my life post May 1999.
Cheers until then!!! :)
I dont remember but thats not significant. I think when i was into my second week of college I realised that i had two of students from my class who lived pretty close to my place. One of them i have forgotten the name, but the other one is someone i cant forget, Jayashree. If it werent for her and paddu i doubt i would have cleared my degree examination!!! :)
What they did for me can never be measured nor can they be thanked sufficiently. Not once did they crib about doing all the class stuff for me, while i was busy playing cricket and playing the fool more importantly.
When i was in class (which was ONLY during my first year of college) I was a royal pain in the arse. I never stopped questioning the lecturers. I guess they didnt like being grilled in their subject, because they seldom had answers :). I was as usual a last bencher. I had to add to my already existing personality assumption of being a 'Dhadha' by sitting ther... I somehow didnt manage to get a grip of the subjects and i decided not to hold on too much, which is when i decided to play cricket on a regular basis.
I dont recall much of what happened in class, for reasons that are quite obvious by now and so i dont think i can dwell on it much.
But yes, there is something i have to mention.. my SIZE..
For those who know me now they will not relate to they way i used to look then, I was FAT!!! Thats an understatement of the century. The look i had when i stepped into college, might have made some wonder if i were a student or a lecturer and the second choice would have been a clear winner for the answer. :)
But the story became quite the oppsite after our first year break. May 1999, I changed completely, looks wise and i guess that also made me change in more ways than i think it did.
I have often thought about it and now the picture seems to get a little clearer.
There is more to losing 15kg than just looks. It also changes ones personality and the way others look at you.
I have some chores to do now. But i sure will love to write the rest of my life post May 1999.
Cheers until then!!! :)
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Reliving 23rd June
Its been a few days since i have blogged, and i have sufficient reasons for not being meticulous.
23rd June was the most wonderful evening. A day to remember not just for Nikhil and myself but for all those who came and blessed us. (I'm assuming all those who came blessed us :) ). There is a whole lot of things that have changed between last week and today and its been a wonderful transition from being a girl to a woman. An automatic change, a feeling that cant be described but only experienced.
The way the people around look at you changes, the way i feel about myself has changed and believe me its all for the better.
There were truly some wonderful moments that evening. The new man in my life, my Urmi's constant and dutiful company, my parents love, my brothers affection, my sister inlaws concern, manu's total happiness, my would be in laws first hug to their new daughter inlaw, my aunts genuine happiness and the joy that was evident, happiness and love that was present in the air (making oxygen a rare commodity!!!) and everything else. I can go on and on but i need to stop.
I've always asked my parents, why would they want to send the daughter they love to somebody else's house. Dont they love her enough. But that day i realised, why parents do that... Its only because their daughter get another beautiful family, parents, brothers and sisters, making this world a wonderful place to live in.
That day didnt bring tears to my eyes but when i write this today it does get moist. Reliving 23rd is a wonderful journey for me.
So many arguments before that day (all in the process of preparation), noise, moments of ragging...and that evening everything came to a standstill, Only the day remained and consumed us all. Hmmmmm... so much to say and not many words to say it in..
Nikhil left for Mumbai this morning. He extended his stay by a day. It was impossible for him to leave yesterday, how could he just put things at the back of his mind and start working just two days after one of the best days of our lives. I was certainly happy he stayed back, gave us some more time to let the moment sink in.
We are all back on our original paths now. Work for him, practice for me and likewise for the others involved.
Life goes on, until 4th december, when life takes a complete change for Nikhil and myself......
23rd June was the most wonderful evening. A day to remember not just for Nikhil and myself but for all those who came and blessed us. (I'm assuming all those who came blessed us :) ). There is a whole lot of things that have changed between last week and today and its been a wonderful transition from being a girl to a woman. An automatic change, a feeling that cant be described but only experienced.
The way the people around look at you changes, the way i feel about myself has changed and believe me its all for the better.
There were truly some wonderful moments that evening. The new man in my life, my Urmi's constant and dutiful company, my parents love, my brothers affection, my sister inlaws concern, manu's total happiness, my would be in laws first hug to their new daughter inlaw, my aunts genuine happiness and the joy that was evident, happiness and love that was present in the air (making oxygen a rare commodity!!!) and everything else. I can go on and on but i need to stop.
I've always asked my parents, why would they want to send the daughter they love to somebody else's house. Dont they love her enough. But that day i realised, why parents do that... Its only because their daughter get another beautiful family, parents, brothers and sisters, making this world a wonderful place to live in.
That day didnt bring tears to my eyes but when i write this today it does get moist. Reliving 23rd is a wonderful journey for me.
So many arguments before that day (all in the process of preparation), noise, moments of ragging...and that evening everything came to a standstill, Only the day remained and consumed us all. Hmmmmm... so much to say and not many words to say it in..
Nikhil left for Mumbai this morning. He extended his stay by a day. It was impossible for him to leave yesterday, how could he just put things at the back of his mind and start working just two days after one of the best days of our lives. I was certainly happy he stayed back, gave us some more time to let the moment sink in.
We are all back on our original paths now. Work for him, practice for me and likewise for the others involved.
Life goes on, until 4th december, when life takes a complete change for Nikhil and myself......
Sunday, June 22, 2008
The Day of the Engagement
Today is June 23rd 2008.
They say in our custom, engagement is half marriage, so i guess thats the way i too am going to take it.
I have always wondered, what my mood would be during such an event and today i feel very normal. But is that abnormal!!!! I am very calm and casul about the entire day. Maybe by evening it might dawn upon me that I AM GETTING ENGAGED.
This actually wouldn't have been such a big deal if weren't for me being involved.
I was so vehemently against marriage until May 1st 2008. But by the end of this year to imagine that i will be married is indeed a big step for me. I know all this and yet, calmness prevails. The day doesn't seem any different. I have done somethings to give the day importance like apply Mehendi, applied an anti tan pack on my face, but thats about it. I have known many of my friends to do much more. Trust me when i say this, i would not have bothered myself with any of the above things if it weren't for my family and friends. They said I had to look a little different from the others there at the function. :)
Anyway, there is life after today and thats something that i have kept at bay for sometime now. Not anymore. I got to start working in the right direction towards my upcoming season and ensure that i am fit to handle everything thats going to happen henceforth.
The evening is quite someway off. Maybe if I get time at night I will come back to you and pour out my feelings. Untill then.. Thanks for wishes :)
They say in our custom, engagement is half marriage, so i guess thats the way i too am going to take it.
I have always wondered, what my mood would be during such an event and today i feel very normal. But is that abnormal!!!! I am very calm and casul about the entire day. Maybe by evening it might dawn upon me that I AM GETTING ENGAGED.
This actually wouldn't have been such a big deal if weren't for me being involved.
I was so vehemently against marriage until May 1st 2008. But by the end of this year to imagine that i will be married is indeed a big step for me. I know all this and yet, calmness prevails. The day doesn't seem any different. I have done somethings to give the day importance like apply Mehendi, applied an anti tan pack on my face, but thats about it. I have known many of my friends to do much more. Trust me when i say this, i would not have bothered myself with any of the above things if it weren't for my family and friends. They said I had to look a little different from the others there at the function. :)
Anyway, there is life after today and thats something that i have kept at bay for sometime now. Not anymore. I got to start working in the right direction towards my upcoming season and ensure that i am fit to handle everything thats going to happen henceforth.
The evening is quite someway off. Maybe if I get time at night I will come back to you and pour out my feelings. Untill then.. Thanks for wishes :)
Friday, June 20, 2008
Three days from today......
My fiance has come down for our engagement and guess thats exactly why i decided that if i should blog then it ought to be rather early in the morning because i'm sure to get busy both with him and also preparing for June 23rd Monday, which is when we will be engaged.
With the mind occupied this way, I'm not entirely sure if i should continue posting my free and independent life as a student. Nikhil please dont assume that i'm not free and independant now that i'm getting engaged to you ;)
Anyway, as far as the next three days are going to go, one thing is for sure, the spotlight will be on us and i'm not too comfortable with attention. Actually, if someone pays alot of attention to me, I begin to wonder if i've done something wrong. I prefer going about my daily work without others realising what it is that i do.
Come to think of it, I hardly do anything and thats why most often (in the past 3 years) I have not had the need to be in others minds. But Monday is a special day indeed and i think i should be calm enough to accept that people around me say and do things only because they care. They are happy for me and so expect me to be a little different from what i have been until yesterday.
I've always believed that i have to assert my point of view every single time and till date i have found a way to get around people. In the process of getting others to accept my decision i have angered many, irritated quite a few and have made others just give in to me irrespective of what they want for themselves. But the past month has been a pleasant change for me in that way. I've patiently given a ear to most things that have been spoken to me, getting angry very few times (the occurence of my outburst for some of the topics they discussed would have been quite bad, if i didnt realise that the others around me knew much more about marriage than i)
I realised i behaved the way i did, until say a month back, was because i was in my house, my parents were forced to love me :) and i was not answerable to anyone else except my conscience. But its not going to be that way now. I'm no doubt very comfortable with my would be in-laws and my fiance but still its time i became responsible and careful about the things i do and said, there are more people listening now. My parents accepted my childishness simply because i was their child but i need to restrain myself henceforth. I have to make life altering decisions (sometimes), concede to the fact that its collective responsibilty henceforth and mistakes will make a whole lot more difference than it did until today.
I guess i've never thought of so many things before saying yes to marriage. Impulse and intuition made me say yes. If only i had thougt sooooooo much, who knows what i would have done. But i guess this is all part of the scheme of things when one is born.
I'm a big believer of fate, not that i surrender to it comletely, no way, but I do realise that sometimes reasoning doesnt apply to certain twists and turns that happen in ones life. Marriage is certainly one that i'm not going to think too much about.
Amma may not really accept my reasoning of fate and sometimes just calls me a fool for talking what she perceives to be nonsense but i prefer calling it logic. Its my explanation of logic that forced me not to accept to marriage till a month back. I've always told her that i will know when i'm ready for marriage, whereas she believed that i knew nothing and was wasting my time not getting married. (My mother is a very well read woman of shastras, Bhagavad Gita, Bhagavatham and whatever you name that this world has got under the Hindu tradition and scriptures but i do find her ways unacceptable.) I guess i have my own dharmas and codes of conduct for living a contended life.
I've been very vague, i now, but i'm just pouring out everything thats there within me. 48 hours from now and my future will be alterer, foever. So please bear with my ramblings. :)
With the mind occupied this way, I'm not entirely sure if i should continue posting my free and independent life as a student. Nikhil please dont assume that i'm not free and independant now that i'm getting engaged to you ;)
Anyway, as far as the next three days are going to go, one thing is for sure, the spotlight will be on us and i'm not too comfortable with attention. Actually, if someone pays alot of attention to me, I begin to wonder if i've done something wrong. I prefer going about my daily work without others realising what it is that i do.
Come to think of it, I hardly do anything and thats why most often (in the past 3 years) I have not had the need to be in others minds. But Monday is a special day indeed and i think i should be calm enough to accept that people around me say and do things only because they care. They are happy for me and so expect me to be a little different from what i have been until yesterday.
I've always believed that i have to assert my point of view every single time and till date i have found a way to get around people. In the process of getting others to accept my decision i have angered many, irritated quite a few and have made others just give in to me irrespective of what they want for themselves. But the past month has been a pleasant change for me in that way. I've patiently given a ear to most things that have been spoken to me, getting angry very few times (the occurence of my outburst for some of the topics they discussed would have been quite bad, if i didnt realise that the others around me knew much more about marriage than i)
I realised i behaved the way i did, until say a month back, was because i was in my house, my parents were forced to love me :) and i was not answerable to anyone else except my conscience. But its not going to be that way now. I'm no doubt very comfortable with my would be in-laws and my fiance but still its time i became responsible and careful about the things i do and said, there are more people listening now. My parents accepted my childishness simply because i was their child but i need to restrain myself henceforth. I have to make life altering decisions (sometimes), concede to the fact that its collective responsibilty henceforth and mistakes will make a whole lot more difference than it did until today.
I guess i've never thought of so many things before saying yes to marriage. Impulse and intuition made me say yes. If only i had thougt sooooooo much, who knows what i would have done. But i guess this is all part of the scheme of things when one is born.
I'm a big believer of fate, not that i surrender to it comletely, no way, but I do realise that sometimes reasoning doesnt apply to certain twists and turns that happen in ones life. Marriage is certainly one that i'm not going to think too much about.
Amma may not really accept my reasoning of fate and sometimes just calls me a fool for talking what she perceives to be nonsense but i prefer calling it logic. Its my explanation of logic that forced me not to accept to marriage till a month back. I've always told her that i will know when i'm ready for marriage, whereas she believed that i knew nothing and was wasting my time not getting married. (My mother is a very well read woman of shastras, Bhagavad Gita, Bhagavatham and whatever you name that this world has got under the Hindu tradition and scriptures but i do find her ways unacceptable.) I guess i have my own dharmas and codes of conduct for living a contended life.
I've been very vague, i now, but i'm just pouring out everything thats there within me. 48 hours from now and my future will be alterer, foever. So please bear with my ramblings. :)
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Musings of a mad mind - 3
I'm listening to one of the songs that really tilt my mind even when i'm in the dumps.. :)
Its a song from a tamizh album, folk number. This will make you think thats its a slow song, set in a village background. But it isn't :) Its a total koothu number and I cant stop dancing my 'famous' dance everytime i hear it.
This certainly sets the tone for my writing today because it takes me straight back to my college days when i was a free soul.
The first day of Ethiraj college in a department that was meant primarily for nerds is not what i imagined for myself, but it made others look at Mathematics in a different way i guess and i would not hesitate to take credit for it.
I actually went to class about two weeks after the course had commenced and it didnt make any difference to me. Why would it?
Anyway, even before i got to know my classmates, I befriended my seniors. I was sitting on the table and generally looking at the general composition of the class, when this senior, whose name was also Aarthi (she spelt it this way) came upto to me and told me not to sit on the table.
This i have to mention, the first time i saw Aarthi, i realised that she had never seen anything beyond her books, math problems and scoring the same score that was there in the denominaors of exams almost every single time.
So when Aarthi came and tried to be a little authoritative, she should have realised that she had tried it with the wrong person ;). The only question i gave her time and space to ask was my name, which i didnt answer to but instead i questioned her so thouroughly that an interoggation session with the police would have come a close second!!!!!!
But that broke the ice almost immediately and all of Aarthi's classmates got to know me very well and they all collectively felt very comfortable with me and more importantly, me with them.
After this came the process of getting to know my peers and that hardly proved to be a difficult task. I happened to be the only one who questioned lecturers and made an immediate impression of being a rebel, which i wasn't. Questioning in the mathematics department of ethiraj college is not associated with inquisitiveness and want to learn, instead its misunderstood as being a brat. This impression remained with me throughout college but thats what made me different.
However, i soon realised that my class had a handful of like minded people and its with only them that i am in contact with till date. That number ait too much, just two. Probably sometime later when i write, why Jayashree and Paddu played such a huge role through my degree.
We were hardly into the second week of my course, I realised that i just could not sit through the lectures for 2 weeks, let alone 3 YEARS!!!!!!!!! Impossible would have been easier.
(Am just stepping out for a bit but i will return to write more.....
Am back. I had to go and collect our engagement ring. )
The realisation struck me so hard that I made i desperate attempt to find Urmi. (I had lost touch with her for a brief period. The day we met at Stella i took her number but wrote it on my palm, and the rest as they say is history.) But the present was important, I needed to get in touch with her to find out if i could join the cricket team (she was born to a cricketing family, and now i can proudly call my second home).
Apparently lady luck was by my side those days and the very next afternoon guess who walks right in front of me, dressed in blue tracks and gray t-shirt (uru, i still remember that day like it was onlt this morning) and looking like a really cool sportsperson.
That day began my journey, my quest to rediscovering who i was and what i was meant to do with my life.
I say this today because the game has engulfed me completely, pervaded my deepest soul and touched my heart in a way that not even God can remove it from within.
Cricket, Urmi, college, classmates, lecturers, canteen and everything else made life a carnival everyday.
There is lots to write and i will write it all, but not today. Tomorrow will be yet another piece in my jigsaw puzzle. :)
Its a song from a tamizh album, folk number. This will make you think thats its a slow song, set in a village background. But it isn't :) Its a total koothu number and I cant stop dancing my 'famous' dance everytime i hear it.
This certainly sets the tone for my writing today because it takes me straight back to my college days when i was a free soul.
The first day of Ethiraj college in a department that was meant primarily for nerds is not what i imagined for myself, but it made others look at Mathematics in a different way i guess and i would not hesitate to take credit for it.
I actually went to class about two weeks after the course had commenced and it didnt make any difference to me. Why would it?
Anyway, even before i got to know my classmates, I befriended my seniors. I was sitting on the table and generally looking at the general composition of the class, when this senior, whose name was also Aarthi (she spelt it this way) came upto to me and told me not to sit on the table.
This i have to mention, the first time i saw Aarthi, i realised that she had never seen anything beyond her books, math problems and scoring the same score that was there in the denominaors of exams almost every single time.
So when Aarthi came and tried to be a little authoritative, she should have realised that she had tried it with the wrong person ;). The only question i gave her time and space to ask was my name, which i didnt answer to but instead i questioned her so thouroughly that an interoggation session with the police would have come a close second!!!!!!
But that broke the ice almost immediately and all of Aarthi's classmates got to know me very well and they all collectively felt very comfortable with me and more importantly, me with them.
After this came the process of getting to know my peers and that hardly proved to be a difficult task. I happened to be the only one who questioned lecturers and made an immediate impression of being a rebel, which i wasn't. Questioning in the mathematics department of ethiraj college is not associated with inquisitiveness and want to learn, instead its misunderstood as being a brat. This impression remained with me throughout college but thats what made me different.
However, i soon realised that my class had a handful of like minded people and its with only them that i am in contact with till date. That number ait too much, just two. Probably sometime later when i write, why Jayashree and Paddu played such a huge role through my degree.
We were hardly into the second week of my course, I realised that i just could not sit through the lectures for 2 weeks, let alone 3 YEARS!!!!!!!!! Impossible would have been easier.
(Am just stepping out for a bit but i will return to write more.....
Am back. I had to go and collect our engagement ring. )
The realisation struck me so hard that I made i desperate attempt to find Urmi. (I had lost touch with her for a brief period. The day we met at Stella i took her number but wrote it on my palm, and the rest as they say is history.) But the present was important, I needed to get in touch with her to find out if i could join the cricket team (she was born to a cricketing family, and now i can proudly call my second home).
Apparently lady luck was by my side those days and the very next afternoon guess who walks right in front of me, dressed in blue tracks and gray t-shirt (uru, i still remember that day like it was onlt this morning) and looking like a really cool sportsperson.
That day began my journey, my quest to rediscovering who i was and what i was meant to do with my life.
I say this today because the game has engulfed me completely, pervaded my deepest soul and touched my heart in a way that not even God can remove it from within.
Cricket, Urmi, college, classmates, lecturers, canteen and everything else made life a carnival everyday.
There is lots to write and i will write it all, but not today. Tomorrow will be yet another piece in my jigsaw puzzle. :)
Musings of a mad mind - 2(cont.)
I'm making it sound like this is Dhoom 4 :) but i guess there is more continuity to my writing atleast.
As I was saying, VM made me feel big today and thats made my day and considering yesterday didnt go too well for me, this was certainly a pleasant break.
My mind is like a boiling pot of milk, sometimes bubbling with loads of joy, anger, sadness and every conceivable feeling. But for most part of it, its in simmer mode, reasonably calm and accepting.
But this very mind at college was a joyous one always. No responsibilities, not much answerability and loads of time to just have fun. Thats exactly how i spent my most beautiful 3 years in Ethiraj college. From the day i stepped into that place, i knew i had my bearings in place and that over oiling would not be required.
Talking about feeling so much at home in Ethi takes me back to be first 7 days of Hell in another place called Stella (This is entirely my feeling about Stella, I have actually known a few people to succeed and do well in life after coming out of that wreck of a place?!?)
Stella to me was a torture chamber and i dont think for the one week i was there, i breathed oxygen, it was that claustrophobic. But having managed to sit there for a week made me realise that the only form of discipline that i was going to adhere to was, SELF DISCIPLINE.
I came back home one day after college and cried to my mother and begged her to take me out, she accepted but only if i did a subject of her choice in the next college i went to. I conceded to that too. (She wanted me to pursue a BSc in Mathematics :) )
So, then came a lovely sunny morning when i got all geared up to leave the hell hole and voila there was yet another person sitting under yet another tree wanting to leave that college on the very same grounds as i did!!!! (This world did have sensioble people afterall)
And do you know what, that person whom i met under that lovely tree in that ill fated place is my best friend till date and shall always be more than that for the rest of my life, my dearest Uru. The gem that i will cherish for an entire lifetime.
We got along so well and were so happy being with each other that day, it made us feel really close. Its one in a million times that these things happen and its not without reason i guess. My mind vividly remembers the time when we both giggled our way across the road to have some paper photo copied, holding each others hands and coming back only to be chided by our respective mothers for behaving like kids. We were kids then, just 17 and right out of school. What was also funny was how we both said by to out former principal (we had our TC's by then) from under the door and laughed for that too. No one could have seen two happier faces that day.
I guess tomorrow is when i will start my journey with college life and its going to be a long and happy one for me. Happy writing for me and reading for others who might read it!!!!
Ciao...
As I was saying, VM made me feel big today and thats made my day and considering yesterday didnt go too well for me, this was certainly a pleasant break.
My mind is like a boiling pot of milk, sometimes bubbling with loads of joy, anger, sadness and every conceivable feeling. But for most part of it, its in simmer mode, reasonably calm and accepting.
But this very mind at college was a joyous one always. No responsibilities, not much answerability and loads of time to just have fun. Thats exactly how i spent my most beautiful 3 years in Ethiraj college. From the day i stepped into that place, i knew i had my bearings in place and that over oiling would not be required.
Talking about feeling so much at home in Ethi takes me back to be first 7 days of Hell in another place called Stella (This is entirely my feeling about Stella, I have actually known a few people to succeed and do well in life after coming out of that wreck of a place?!?)
Stella to me was a torture chamber and i dont think for the one week i was there, i breathed oxygen, it was that claustrophobic. But having managed to sit there for a week made me realise that the only form of discipline that i was going to adhere to was, SELF DISCIPLINE.
I came back home one day after college and cried to my mother and begged her to take me out, she accepted but only if i did a subject of her choice in the next college i went to. I conceded to that too. (She wanted me to pursue a BSc in Mathematics :) )
So, then came a lovely sunny morning when i got all geared up to leave the hell hole and voila there was yet another person sitting under yet another tree wanting to leave that college on the very same grounds as i did!!!! (This world did have sensioble people afterall)
And do you know what, that person whom i met under that lovely tree in that ill fated place is my best friend till date and shall always be more than that for the rest of my life, my dearest Uru. The gem that i will cherish for an entire lifetime.
We got along so well and were so happy being with each other that day, it made us feel really close. Its one in a million times that these things happen and its not without reason i guess. My mind vividly remembers the time when we both giggled our way across the road to have some paper photo copied, holding each others hands and coming back only to be chided by our respective mothers for behaving like kids. We were kids then, just 17 and right out of school. What was also funny was how we both said by to out former principal (we had our TC's by then) from under the door and laughed for that too. No one could have seen two happier faces that day.
I guess tomorrow is when i will start my journey with college life and its going to be a long and happy one for me. Happy writing for me and reading for others who might read it!!!!
Ciao...
Musings of a mad mind - 2
I was wondering while i was riding to some place this morning if while blogging one had some strict patterns to adhere to and then it struck as being one of the most dreadful ponderings and i'm pretty sure you know why!!!!
I was cribbing about school yesterday and today they do something unimaginable.. I got a cheque from them, for something i did for the school no doubt, but i hardly expected them to be this generous. I guess they have rated me higher than what i rated them. For this i'm certainly grateful for they have given me the confidence that pursuing a career in the field of sports may not be a bad idea for me and I guess a few more pointers in this direction and i will have my path paved.
My mum's just calling me for lunch and I'm going to go and eat, so i guess i will be writing more later today.. until then..
I was cribbing about school yesterday and today they do something unimaginable.. I got a cheque from them, for something i did for the school no doubt, but i hardly expected them to be this generous. I guess they have rated me higher than what i rated them. For this i'm certainly grateful for they have given me the confidence that pursuing a career in the field of sports may not be a bad idea for me and I guess a few more pointers in this direction and i will have my path paved.
My mum's just calling me for lunch and I'm going to go and eat, so i guess i will be writing more later today.. until then..
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
musings of a mad mind- 1
only yesterday did my fiance put in a thought in my ever dull mind.. why not blog about whatever happened at college, school and maybe even one of the best innigs i've played.
as far as the last one goes, seriously i'm yet to play something significant and memorable. I have scored a state level century but that has not been a satisfactory innings. I guess thats primarily because my team failed to qualify for the nationals that year and therefore the runs have no significance.
school to me was not the most enjoyable or memorable part of my life. I spent 12 years in the same school but when i think about it today, i realise that the time spent went by without any emotion attached to it. 12 years is a long time and yet the school has left a void and its something that can never be filled.
i cant comprehend as to why i feel this way. I had the respect of my peers and teachers alike. I was this typical sincere hard working( a quality that has lasted till date, thankfully!!!) student. But i think of myself more as an impulsive person who has many things to offer, but i did none of that in school. yet days, months and years went by without too many apprehensive days.
when i recollect those days, i dont see exciting times. I dont remember how often i've felt like just being at school, not ever wanting to leave. Hardly one day or not even that perhaps. yet, i still have some of my dearest friends from school.
at school i was the sports secretary ( a post that has refused to leave me even in college) but that came because in a school like VM if someone could actually make a concerted effort to run fast then we had leadership qualities, very flimsy reasons indeed. But then it gave me a sense of pride that for a change academics were not the criteria behind holding this particular post.
I can go on rambling about school but i would rather talk of college where i discovered myself. But thats for later....... :)
as far as the last one goes, seriously i'm yet to play something significant and memorable. I have scored a state level century but that has not been a satisfactory innings. I guess thats primarily because my team failed to qualify for the nationals that year and therefore the runs have no significance.
school to me was not the most enjoyable or memorable part of my life. I spent 12 years in the same school but when i think about it today, i realise that the time spent went by without any emotion attached to it. 12 years is a long time and yet the school has left a void and its something that can never be filled.
i cant comprehend as to why i feel this way. I had the respect of my peers and teachers alike. I was this typical sincere hard working( a quality that has lasted till date, thankfully!!!) student. But i think of myself more as an impulsive person who has many things to offer, but i did none of that in school. yet days, months and years went by without too many apprehensive days.
when i recollect those days, i dont see exciting times. I dont remember how often i've felt like just being at school, not ever wanting to leave. Hardly one day or not even that perhaps. yet, i still have some of my dearest friends from school.
at school i was the sports secretary ( a post that has refused to leave me even in college) but that came because in a school like VM if someone could actually make a concerted effort to run fast then we had leadership qualities, very flimsy reasons indeed. But then it gave me a sense of pride that for a change academics were not the criteria behind holding this particular post.
I can go on rambling about school but i would rather talk of college where i discovered myself. But thats for later....... :)
Today is yet another day where I have spent time doing nothing. Its been this way for quite a while now and really dont like it. I too want to have a busy life doing things that keep me occupied, mentally and physically. No doubt I enjoy playing and the process involved in making myself a better cricketer is a thoroughly enjoyable one but for the past one year, my intensity has dropped as far as actual practice goes. My mind refuses to bring its guard down though. perhaps thats the reason why i still manage to be a reasonable performer.
To overcome my boredom I'm getting into the habit of reading and its been working pretty well. There isn't really a particular genre that i prefer, which gives me the opportunity to explore wider areas. Let me wait and see if that gets me somewhere, afterall, time is something i have in plenty at the moment.
I guess thats my frustration vented out for the time being atleast.
To overcome my boredom I'm getting into the habit of reading and its been working pretty well. There isn't really a particular genre that i prefer, which gives me the opportunity to explore wider areas. Let me wait and see if that gets me somewhere, afterall, time is something i have in plenty at the moment.
I guess thats my frustration vented out for the time being atleast.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Back After A Year
This is only the second time i'm writing and its almost a year since i opened this. But this time round things seem to be looking up for me and my regularity in writing will just be a more frequent event.
For a start, next monday i will be engeged to a wonderful man, Nikhil Sivaramakrishnan. Its just been a month since we both decided that we could actually put up with each other and go on to have a family. The wedding is not for another six months but the engagement is a binding factor nonetheless.
My fiance might actually read this some day soon, but thats not going to prevent me from writing why i called him a wonderful man.
I've met alot of people in my profession and I've got very few opportunities to meet genuine men (women are a lot worse though!!!!!) and Nikhil was a refreshing to hear and understand. I just needed to speak to him once and i realised that some of my doubts about marriage can actually be put to rest. If someone can make me feel that way then he is someone i would like to spend time with for the rest of my life. I know I've got a lifelong friend in him.
I've made alot of people faint with my decision to marry. I didnt know that such an announcement would create this much of a stir among my friends and family, in a very happy way ofcourse.. :)
I guess this will just be the beginning of a very long journey that lies ahead of me and Nikhil
For a start, next monday i will be engeged to a wonderful man, Nikhil Sivaramakrishnan. Its just been a month since we both decided that we could actually put up with each other and go on to have a family. The wedding is not for another six months but the engagement is a binding factor nonetheless.
My fiance might actually read this some day soon, but thats not going to prevent me from writing why i called him a wonderful man.
I've met alot of people in my profession and I've got very few opportunities to meet genuine men (women are a lot worse though!!!!!) and Nikhil was a refreshing to hear and understand. I just needed to speak to him once and i realised that some of my doubts about marriage can actually be put to rest. If someone can make me feel that way then he is someone i would like to spend time with for the rest of my life. I know I've got a lifelong friend in him.
I've made alot of people faint with my decision to marry. I didnt know that such an announcement would create this much of a stir among my friends and family, in a very happy way ofcourse.. :)
I guess this will just be the beginning of a very long journey that lies ahead of me and Nikhil
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