Most part of my second and third year of college were spent on the field. If we weren't playing, then we were eating there or just there. We got too attached to our college ground and nothing could stop us from being there.
There have been days when it used to pour and yet the entire team would have assembled there, just so that we could be with each other. Such was our affection towards our ground that we decided to clean up our dirty kit room. I haven't worked that hard even at home. That took alot of effort on our part because that was the filthiest place in college and in less than two days, that room became our home. We had pillows, cushions and even a picture of "pillaiyar" hung there. Thats how much we revered the room and it was all worth it. It helped us spend more time in the vicinity of the ground without having to wonder, when our lecturers would go by without having to pass some unwanted comments.
At college if we were a sportsperson then permission to legally stay out of class was granted to us, with just a signature from our PD in a notebook we maintained. No questions asked by anyone from the department we studied in, if the notebook had the required signatures. There are many who misused this and often were not present at class nor at the ground. But we as cricket players didnt belong to that group. Anyone could be certain to find us at the ground even if it was pouring cats and dogs.
That gave both the teachers in the sports department and the mathematics department, to which i belonged, that I was trustworthy enough for a post in college, namely, Sports secretary.
I would however like to mention that I dont think i was the natural and first choice. Urmi was made sports secretary of the day college while there were quite a few names under discussion for the evening college.
But this time it was the turn of lecturers to make use of Urmi's and my frieindship. I guess it occured to them that we both would do well if we worked together and trust me, neither of us let their belief down. That was amply identified when we coordinated the sports day events successfully both when we were in our second as well as third year of college. Till date, it is discussed that we were the two best to be handed that esteemed post because, Ethiraj then was THE best college for sports for women.
Urmi and myself were awarded for our efforts both on the field and off the field contributions for sporting acheivements and that was certainly a moment of pride for us and one that we will cherish forever.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Musings of a mad Mind - 5
May 1999 will remain etched in my mind very vividly and why wont it. Imagine a girl of 18, weighing 62kg, just drop 15kg in less than 25 days, without making any sort of effort!!!!!!
Yes, thats me and i didnt realise this weight loss until my entire wardrobe seemed to be too loose for me and my jeans were falling off my waist :)
I smile today but those few days were of total worry to my parents. I didnt fall ill, didnt feel tired and yet i was losing weight like a deflating balloon. Coinciding with all this was my grandma's failing health. I guess thats why it took my parents to see this drastic change in me and it wasn't until a relative mentioned the fact that i looked very thin, on the day of my grandma's death that my parents took note of this.
Many people associated my weight loss with my grandma's passing away. No doubt that i was upset, but i dont think that it would have got me depressed, simply because, she was suffering alot and I was glad that the torture finally ended for her on June 22nd 1999.
Well after all this came the act of taking me to a million doctors, doing a million tests and they all said what i had been saying for a long time, I WAS JUST FINE AND HEALTHY. But as parents the worry seldom ceases and i think till this very date they are worried about my weight loss.
I have a tendency to think that God has something planned for us and only He knows why he does somethings. I'm assuming that this was also an act of God to make me a healthier person and help me play my game with more vigor and zest. (It is easier when your light on your feet ;)
But there was more to the weight loss than just the physical look. I changed internally too. I was never short of confidence ever, but the new look made me different. Its a feeling that i have till date.
It started with my sense of dressing. I was this salwar kameez type, who wore jeans and t shirts consious of my bulging sides, but now i didnt have to worry about it. The way people looked at me was not the same. I felt that when i was fat, it was automatically assumed that i was the non-fun type, studious and boring and all those and trust me i was none of that. But with the change in physical appearance came this feeling among those around me (barring a few and i guess they know who they are) that i was COOL!!! Whatever that means, but i am guessing you get my point.
I've wondered if i too have judged many a person with this kind of a pre conceived notion. If i have, I apologise to all those whom i have thought of differently. Its a misconception. Being thin, doesn't change the person you are. You only lose weight, not character but it takes alot of time for people to see it.
I may sound confused here but I'm not. I'm just telling you how people really are. For women, the way they look is very important to be accepted among people and thats a lousy way to judge people. I say this because i have seen both sides. It can sometimes get depressing. Today when people say, Aarti you need to put on weight, I go back to the days when people would say, Aarti you need to lose weight!!!! All this changed within days for me, no expense mind it, no talwalkars, no fitness one or any another weight claims by VLCC can match what God did for me..
Enough has been said about all this.
College life was so much fun duing 1999 - 2001. More to come
Yes, thats me and i didnt realise this weight loss until my entire wardrobe seemed to be too loose for me and my jeans were falling off my waist :)
I smile today but those few days were of total worry to my parents. I didnt fall ill, didnt feel tired and yet i was losing weight like a deflating balloon. Coinciding with all this was my grandma's failing health. I guess thats why it took my parents to see this drastic change in me and it wasn't until a relative mentioned the fact that i looked very thin, on the day of my grandma's death that my parents took note of this.
Many people associated my weight loss with my grandma's passing away. No doubt that i was upset, but i dont think that it would have got me depressed, simply because, she was suffering alot and I was glad that the torture finally ended for her on June 22nd 1999.
Well after all this came the act of taking me to a million doctors, doing a million tests and they all said what i had been saying for a long time, I WAS JUST FINE AND HEALTHY. But as parents the worry seldom ceases and i think till this very date they are worried about my weight loss.
I have a tendency to think that God has something planned for us and only He knows why he does somethings. I'm assuming that this was also an act of God to make me a healthier person and help me play my game with more vigor and zest. (It is easier when your light on your feet ;)
But there was more to the weight loss than just the physical look. I changed internally too. I was never short of confidence ever, but the new look made me different. Its a feeling that i have till date.
It started with my sense of dressing. I was this salwar kameez type, who wore jeans and t shirts consious of my bulging sides, but now i didnt have to worry about it. The way people looked at me was not the same. I felt that when i was fat, it was automatically assumed that i was the non-fun type, studious and boring and all those and trust me i was none of that. But with the change in physical appearance came this feeling among those around me (barring a few and i guess they know who they are) that i was COOL!!! Whatever that means, but i am guessing you get my point.
I've wondered if i too have judged many a person with this kind of a pre conceived notion. If i have, I apologise to all those whom i have thought of differently. Its a misconception. Being thin, doesn't change the person you are. You only lose weight, not character but it takes alot of time for people to see it.
I may sound confused here but I'm not. I'm just telling you how people really are. For women, the way they look is very important to be accepted among people and thats a lousy way to judge people. I say this because i have seen both sides. It can sometimes get depressing. Today when people say, Aarti you need to put on weight, I go back to the days when people would say, Aarti you need to lose weight!!!! All this changed within days for me, no expense mind it, no talwalkars, no fitness one or any another weight claims by VLCC can match what God did for me..
Enough has been said about all this.
College life was so much fun duing 1999 - 2001. More to come
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Musings of a mad mind - 4
Now where was I with my memories of college..
I dont remember but thats not significant. I think when i was into my second week of college I realised that i had two of students from my class who lived pretty close to my place. One of them i have forgotten the name, but the other one is someone i cant forget, Jayashree. If it werent for her and paddu i doubt i would have cleared my degree examination!!! :)
What they did for me can never be measured nor can they be thanked sufficiently. Not once did they crib about doing all the class stuff for me, while i was busy playing cricket and playing the fool more importantly.
When i was in class (which was ONLY during my first year of college) I was a royal pain in the arse. I never stopped questioning the lecturers. I guess they didnt like being grilled in their subject, because they seldom had answers :). I was as usual a last bencher. I had to add to my already existing personality assumption of being a 'Dhadha' by sitting ther... I somehow didnt manage to get a grip of the subjects and i decided not to hold on too much, which is when i decided to play cricket on a regular basis.
I dont recall much of what happened in class, for reasons that are quite obvious by now and so i dont think i can dwell on it much.
But yes, there is something i have to mention.. my SIZE..
For those who know me now they will not relate to they way i used to look then, I was FAT!!! Thats an understatement of the century. The look i had when i stepped into college, might have made some wonder if i were a student or a lecturer and the second choice would have been a clear winner for the answer. :)
But the story became quite the oppsite after our first year break. May 1999, I changed completely, looks wise and i guess that also made me change in more ways than i think it did.
I have often thought about it and now the picture seems to get a little clearer.
There is more to losing 15kg than just looks. It also changes ones personality and the way others look at you.
I have some chores to do now. But i sure will love to write the rest of my life post May 1999.
Cheers until then!!! :)
I dont remember but thats not significant. I think when i was into my second week of college I realised that i had two of students from my class who lived pretty close to my place. One of them i have forgotten the name, but the other one is someone i cant forget, Jayashree. If it werent for her and paddu i doubt i would have cleared my degree examination!!! :)
What they did for me can never be measured nor can they be thanked sufficiently. Not once did they crib about doing all the class stuff for me, while i was busy playing cricket and playing the fool more importantly.
When i was in class (which was ONLY during my first year of college) I was a royal pain in the arse. I never stopped questioning the lecturers. I guess they didnt like being grilled in their subject, because they seldom had answers :). I was as usual a last bencher. I had to add to my already existing personality assumption of being a 'Dhadha' by sitting ther... I somehow didnt manage to get a grip of the subjects and i decided not to hold on too much, which is when i decided to play cricket on a regular basis.
I dont recall much of what happened in class, for reasons that are quite obvious by now and so i dont think i can dwell on it much.
But yes, there is something i have to mention.. my SIZE..
For those who know me now they will not relate to they way i used to look then, I was FAT!!! Thats an understatement of the century. The look i had when i stepped into college, might have made some wonder if i were a student or a lecturer and the second choice would have been a clear winner for the answer. :)
But the story became quite the oppsite after our first year break. May 1999, I changed completely, looks wise and i guess that also made me change in more ways than i think it did.
I have often thought about it and now the picture seems to get a little clearer.
There is more to losing 15kg than just looks. It also changes ones personality and the way others look at you.
I have some chores to do now. But i sure will love to write the rest of my life post May 1999.
Cheers until then!!! :)
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Reliving 23rd June
Its been a few days since i have blogged, and i have sufficient reasons for not being meticulous.
23rd June was the most wonderful evening. A day to remember not just for Nikhil and myself but for all those who came and blessed us. (I'm assuming all those who came blessed us :) ). There is a whole lot of things that have changed between last week and today and its been a wonderful transition from being a girl to a woman. An automatic change, a feeling that cant be described but only experienced.
The way the people around look at you changes, the way i feel about myself has changed and believe me its all for the better.
There were truly some wonderful moments that evening. The new man in my life, my Urmi's constant and dutiful company, my parents love, my brothers affection, my sister inlaws concern, manu's total happiness, my would be in laws first hug to their new daughter inlaw, my aunts genuine happiness and the joy that was evident, happiness and love that was present in the air (making oxygen a rare commodity!!!) and everything else. I can go on and on but i need to stop.
I've always asked my parents, why would they want to send the daughter they love to somebody else's house. Dont they love her enough. But that day i realised, why parents do that... Its only because their daughter get another beautiful family, parents, brothers and sisters, making this world a wonderful place to live in.
That day didnt bring tears to my eyes but when i write this today it does get moist. Reliving 23rd is a wonderful journey for me.
So many arguments before that day (all in the process of preparation), noise, moments of ragging...and that evening everything came to a standstill, Only the day remained and consumed us all. Hmmmmm... so much to say and not many words to say it in..
Nikhil left for Mumbai this morning. He extended his stay by a day. It was impossible for him to leave yesterday, how could he just put things at the back of his mind and start working just two days after one of the best days of our lives. I was certainly happy he stayed back, gave us some more time to let the moment sink in.
We are all back on our original paths now. Work for him, practice for me and likewise for the others involved.
Life goes on, until 4th december, when life takes a complete change for Nikhil and myself......
23rd June was the most wonderful evening. A day to remember not just for Nikhil and myself but for all those who came and blessed us. (I'm assuming all those who came blessed us :) ). There is a whole lot of things that have changed between last week and today and its been a wonderful transition from being a girl to a woman. An automatic change, a feeling that cant be described but only experienced.
The way the people around look at you changes, the way i feel about myself has changed and believe me its all for the better.
There were truly some wonderful moments that evening. The new man in my life, my Urmi's constant and dutiful company, my parents love, my brothers affection, my sister inlaws concern, manu's total happiness, my would be in laws first hug to their new daughter inlaw, my aunts genuine happiness and the joy that was evident, happiness and love that was present in the air (making oxygen a rare commodity!!!) and everything else. I can go on and on but i need to stop.
I've always asked my parents, why would they want to send the daughter they love to somebody else's house. Dont they love her enough. But that day i realised, why parents do that... Its only because their daughter get another beautiful family, parents, brothers and sisters, making this world a wonderful place to live in.
That day didnt bring tears to my eyes but when i write this today it does get moist. Reliving 23rd is a wonderful journey for me.
So many arguments before that day (all in the process of preparation), noise, moments of ragging...and that evening everything came to a standstill, Only the day remained and consumed us all. Hmmmmm... so much to say and not many words to say it in..
Nikhil left for Mumbai this morning. He extended his stay by a day. It was impossible for him to leave yesterday, how could he just put things at the back of his mind and start working just two days after one of the best days of our lives. I was certainly happy he stayed back, gave us some more time to let the moment sink in.
We are all back on our original paths now. Work for him, practice for me and likewise for the others involved.
Life goes on, until 4th december, when life takes a complete change for Nikhil and myself......
Sunday, June 22, 2008
The Day of the Engagement
Today is June 23rd 2008.
They say in our custom, engagement is half marriage, so i guess thats the way i too am going to take it.
I have always wondered, what my mood would be during such an event and today i feel very normal. But is that abnormal!!!! I am very calm and casul about the entire day. Maybe by evening it might dawn upon me that I AM GETTING ENGAGED.
This actually wouldn't have been such a big deal if weren't for me being involved.
I was so vehemently against marriage until May 1st 2008. But by the end of this year to imagine that i will be married is indeed a big step for me. I know all this and yet, calmness prevails. The day doesn't seem any different. I have done somethings to give the day importance like apply Mehendi, applied an anti tan pack on my face, but thats about it. I have known many of my friends to do much more. Trust me when i say this, i would not have bothered myself with any of the above things if it weren't for my family and friends. They said I had to look a little different from the others there at the function. :)
Anyway, there is life after today and thats something that i have kept at bay for sometime now. Not anymore. I got to start working in the right direction towards my upcoming season and ensure that i am fit to handle everything thats going to happen henceforth.
The evening is quite someway off. Maybe if I get time at night I will come back to you and pour out my feelings. Untill then.. Thanks for wishes :)
They say in our custom, engagement is half marriage, so i guess thats the way i too am going to take it.
I have always wondered, what my mood would be during such an event and today i feel very normal. But is that abnormal!!!! I am very calm and casul about the entire day. Maybe by evening it might dawn upon me that I AM GETTING ENGAGED.
This actually wouldn't have been such a big deal if weren't for me being involved.
I was so vehemently against marriage until May 1st 2008. But by the end of this year to imagine that i will be married is indeed a big step for me. I know all this and yet, calmness prevails. The day doesn't seem any different. I have done somethings to give the day importance like apply Mehendi, applied an anti tan pack on my face, but thats about it. I have known many of my friends to do much more. Trust me when i say this, i would not have bothered myself with any of the above things if it weren't for my family and friends. They said I had to look a little different from the others there at the function. :)
Anyway, there is life after today and thats something that i have kept at bay for sometime now. Not anymore. I got to start working in the right direction towards my upcoming season and ensure that i am fit to handle everything thats going to happen henceforth.
The evening is quite someway off. Maybe if I get time at night I will come back to you and pour out my feelings. Untill then.. Thanks for wishes :)
Friday, June 20, 2008
Three days from today......
My fiance has come down for our engagement and guess thats exactly why i decided that if i should blog then it ought to be rather early in the morning because i'm sure to get busy both with him and also preparing for June 23rd Monday, which is when we will be engaged.
With the mind occupied this way, I'm not entirely sure if i should continue posting my free and independent life as a student. Nikhil please dont assume that i'm not free and independant now that i'm getting engaged to you ;)
Anyway, as far as the next three days are going to go, one thing is for sure, the spotlight will be on us and i'm not too comfortable with attention. Actually, if someone pays alot of attention to me, I begin to wonder if i've done something wrong. I prefer going about my daily work without others realising what it is that i do.
Come to think of it, I hardly do anything and thats why most often (in the past 3 years) I have not had the need to be in others minds. But Monday is a special day indeed and i think i should be calm enough to accept that people around me say and do things only because they care. They are happy for me and so expect me to be a little different from what i have been until yesterday.
I've always believed that i have to assert my point of view every single time and till date i have found a way to get around people. In the process of getting others to accept my decision i have angered many, irritated quite a few and have made others just give in to me irrespective of what they want for themselves. But the past month has been a pleasant change for me in that way. I've patiently given a ear to most things that have been spoken to me, getting angry very few times (the occurence of my outburst for some of the topics they discussed would have been quite bad, if i didnt realise that the others around me knew much more about marriage than i)
I realised i behaved the way i did, until say a month back, was because i was in my house, my parents were forced to love me :) and i was not answerable to anyone else except my conscience. But its not going to be that way now. I'm no doubt very comfortable with my would be in-laws and my fiance but still its time i became responsible and careful about the things i do and said, there are more people listening now. My parents accepted my childishness simply because i was their child but i need to restrain myself henceforth. I have to make life altering decisions (sometimes), concede to the fact that its collective responsibilty henceforth and mistakes will make a whole lot more difference than it did until today.
I guess i've never thought of so many things before saying yes to marriage. Impulse and intuition made me say yes. If only i had thougt sooooooo much, who knows what i would have done. But i guess this is all part of the scheme of things when one is born.
I'm a big believer of fate, not that i surrender to it comletely, no way, but I do realise that sometimes reasoning doesnt apply to certain twists and turns that happen in ones life. Marriage is certainly one that i'm not going to think too much about.
Amma may not really accept my reasoning of fate and sometimes just calls me a fool for talking what she perceives to be nonsense but i prefer calling it logic. Its my explanation of logic that forced me not to accept to marriage till a month back. I've always told her that i will know when i'm ready for marriage, whereas she believed that i knew nothing and was wasting my time not getting married. (My mother is a very well read woman of shastras, Bhagavad Gita, Bhagavatham and whatever you name that this world has got under the Hindu tradition and scriptures but i do find her ways unacceptable.) I guess i have my own dharmas and codes of conduct for living a contended life.
I've been very vague, i now, but i'm just pouring out everything thats there within me. 48 hours from now and my future will be alterer, foever. So please bear with my ramblings. :)
With the mind occupied this way, I'm not entirely sure if i should continue posting my free and independent life as a student. Nikhil please dont assume that i'm not free and independant now that i'm getting engaged to you ;)
Anyway, as far as the next three days are going to go, one thing is for sure, the spotlight will be on us and i'm not too comfortable with attention. Actually, if someone pays alot of attention to me, I begin to wonder if i've done something wrong. I prefer going about my daily work without others realising what it is that i do.
Come to think of it, I hardly do anything and thats why most often (in the past 3 years) I have not had the need to be in others minds. But Monday is a special day indeed and i think i should be calm enough to accept that people around me say and do things only because they care. They are happy for me and so expect me to be a little different from what i have been until yesterday.
I've always believed that i have to assert my point of view every single time and till date i have found a way to get around people. In the process of getting others to accept my decision i have angered many, irritated quite a few and have made others just give in to me irrespective of what they want for themselves. But the past month has been a pleasant change for me in that way. I've patiently given a ear to most things that have been spoken to me, getting angry very few times (the occurence of my outburst for some of the topics they discussed would have been quite bad, if i didnt realise that the others around me knew much more about marriage than i)
I realised i behaved the way i did, until say a month back, was because i was in my house, my parents were forced to love me :) and i was not answerable to anyone else except my conscience. But its not going to be that way now. I'm no doubt very comfortable with my would be in-laws and my fiance but still its time i became responsible and careful about the things i do and said, there are more people listening now. My parents accepted my childishness simply because i was their child but i need to restrain myself henceforth. I have to make life altering decisions (sometimes), concede to the fact that its collective responsibilty henceforth and mistakes will make a whole lot more difference than it did until today.
I guess i've never thought of so many things before saying yes to marriage. Impulse and intuition made me say yes. If only i had thougt sooooooo much, who knows what i would have done. But i guess this is all part of the scheme of things when one is born.
I'm a big believer of fate, not that i surrender to it comletely, no way, but I do realise that sometimes reasoning doesnt apply to certain twists and turns that happen in ones life. Marriage is certainly one that i'm not going to think too much about.
Amma may not really accept my reasoning of fate and sometimes just calls me a fool for talking what she perceives to be nonsense but i prefer calling it logic. Its my explanation of logic that forced me not to accept to marriage till a month back. I've always told her that i will know when i'm ready for marriage, whereas she believed that i knew nothing and was wasting my time not getting married. (My mother is a very well read woman of shastras, Bhagavad Gita, Bhagavatham and whatever you name that this world has got under the Hindu tradition and scriptures but i do find her ways unacceptable.) I guess i have my own dharmas and codes of conduct for living a contended life.
I've been very vague, i now, but i'm just pouring out everything thats there within me. 48 hours from now and my future will be alterer, foever. So please bear with my ramblings. :)
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Musings of a mad mind - 3
I'm listening to one of the songs that really tilt my mind even when i'm in the dumps.. :)
Its a song from a tamizh album, folk number. This will make you think thats its a slow song, set in a village background. But it isn't :) Its a total koothu number and I cant stop dancing my 'famous' dance everytime i hear it.
This certainly sets the tone for my writing today because it takes me straight back to my college days when i was a free soul.
The first day of Ethiraj college in a department that was meant primarily for nerds is not what i imagined for myself, but it made others look at Mathematics in a different way i guess and i would not hesitate to take credit for it.
I actually went to class about two weeks after the course had commenced and it didnt make any difference to me. Why would it?
Anyway, even before i got to know my classmates, I befriended my seniors. I was sitting on the table and generally looking at the general composition of the class, when this senior, whose name was also Aarthi (she spelt it this way) came upto to me and told me not to sit on the table.
This i have to mention, the first time i saw Aarthi, i realised that she had never seen anything beyond her books, math problems and scoring the same score that was there in the denominaors of exams almost every single time.
So when Aarthi came and tried to be a little authoritative, she should have realised that she had tried it with the wrong person ;). The only question i gave her time and space to ask was my name, which i didnt answer to but instead i questioned her so thouroughly that an interoggation session with the police would have come a close second!!!!!!
But that broke the ice almost immediately and all of Aarthi's classmates got to know me very well and they all collectively felt very comfortable with me and more importantly, me with them.
After this came the process of getting to know my peers and that hardly proved to be a difficult task. I happened to be the only one who questioned lecturers and made an immediate impression of being a rebel, which i wasn't. Questioning in the mathematics department of ethiraj college is not associated with inquisitiveness and want to learn, instead its misunderstood as being a brat. This impression remained with me throughout college but thats what made me different.
However, i soon realised that my class had a handful of like minded people and its with only them that i am in contact with till date. That number ait too much, just two. Probably sometime later when i write, why Jayashree and Paddu played such a huge role through my degree.
We were hardly into the second week of my course, I realised that i just could not sit through the lectures for 2 weeks, let alone 3 YEARS!!!!!!!!! Impossible would have been easier.
(Am just stepping out for a bit but i will return to write more.....
Am back. I had to go and collect our engagement ring. )
The realisation struck me so hard that I made i desperate attempt to find Urmi. (I had lost touch with her for a brief period. The day we met at Stella i took her number but wrote it on my palm, and the rest as they say is history.) But the present was important, I needed to get in touch with her to find out if i could join the cricket team (she was born to a cricketing family, and now i can proudly call my second home).
Apparently lady luck was by my side those days and the very next afternoon guess who walks right in front of me, dressed in blue tracks and gray t-shirt (uru, i still remember that day like it was onlt this morning) and looking like a really cool sportsperson.
That day began my journey, my quest to rediscovering who i was and what i was meant to do with my life.
I say this today because the game has engulfed me completely, pervaded my deepest soul and touched my heart in a way that not even God can remove it from within.
Cricket, Urmi, college, classmates, lecturers, canteen and everything else made life a carnival everyday.
There is lots to write and i will write it all, but not today. Tomorrow will be yet another piece in my jigsaw puzzle. :)
Its a song from a tamizh album, folk number. This will make you think thats its a slow song, set in a village background. But it isn't :) Its a total koothu number and I cant stop dancing my 'famous' dance everytime i hear it.
This certainly sets the tone for my writing today because it takes me straight back to my college days when i was a free soul.
The first day of Ethiraj college in a department that was meant primarily for nerds is not what i imagined for myself, but it made others look at Mathematics in a different way i guess and i would not hesitate to take credit for it.
I actually went to class about two weeks after the course had commenced and it didnt make any difference to me. Why would it?
Anyway, even before i got to know my classmates, I befriended my seniors. I was sitting on the table and generally looking at the general composition of the class, when this senior, whose name was also Aarthi (she spelt it this way) came upto to me and told me not to sit on the table.
This i have to mention, the first time i saw Aarthi, i realised that she had never seen anything beyond her books, math problems and scoring the same score that was there in the denominaors of exams almost every single time.
So when Aarthi came and tried to be a little authoritative, she should have realised that she had tried it with the wrong person ;). The only question i gave her time and space to ask was my name, which i didnt answer to but instead i questioned her so thouroughly that an interoggation session with the police would have come a close second!!!!!!
But that broke the ice almost immediately and all of Aarthi's classmates got to know me very well and they all collectively felt very comfortable with me and more importantly, me with them.
After this came the process of getting to know my peers and that hardly proved to be a difficult task. I happened to be the only one who questioned lecturers and made an immediate impression of being a rebel, which i wasn't. Questioning in the mathematics department of ethiraj college is not associated with inquisitiveness and want to learn, instead its misunderstood as being a brat. This impression remained with me throughout college but thats what made me different.
However, i soon realised that my class had a handful of like minded people and its with only them that i am in contact with till date. That number ait too much, just two. Probably sometime later when i write, why Jayashree and Paddu played such a huge role through my degree.
We were hardly into the second week of my course, I realised that i just could not sit through the lectures for 2 weeks, let alone 3 YEARS!!!!!!!!! Impossible would have been easier.
(Am just stepping out for a bit but i will return to write more.....
Am back. I had to go and collect our engagement ring. )
The realisation struck me so hard that I made i desperate attempt to find Urmi. (I had lost touch with her for a brief period. The day we met at Stella i took her number but wrote it on my palm, and the rest as they say is history.) But the present was important, I needed to get in touch with her to find out if i could join the cricket team (she was born to a cricketing family, and now i can proudly call my second home).
Apparently lady luck was by my side those days and the very next afternoon guess who walks right in front of me, dressed in blue tracks and gray t-shirt (uru, i still remember that day like it was onlt this morning) and looking like a really cool sportsperson.
That day began my journey, my quest to rediscovering who i was and what i was meant to do with my life.
I say this today because the game has engulfed me completely, pervaded my deepest soul and touched my heart in a way that not even God can remove it from within.
Cricket, Urmi, college, classmates, lecturers, canteen and everything else made life a carnival everyday.
There is lots to write and i will write it all, but not today. Tomorrow will be yet another piece in my jigsaw puzzle. :)
Musings of a mad mind - 2(cont.)
I'm making it sound like this is Dhoom 4 :) but i guess there is more continuity to my writing atleast.
As I was saying, VM made me feel big today and thats made my day and considering yesterday didnt go too well for me, this was certainly a pleasant break.
My mind is like a boiling pot of milk, sometimes bubbling with loads of joy, anger, sadness and every conceivable feeling. But for most part of it, its in simmer mode, reasonably calm and accepting.
But this very mind at college was a joyous one always. No responsibilities, not much answerability and loads of time to just have fun. Thats exactly how i spent my most beautiful 3 years in Ethiraj college. From the day i stepped into that place, i knew i had my bearings in place and that over oiling would not be required.
Talking about feeling so much at home in Ethi takes me back to be first 7 days of Hell in another place called Stella (This is entirely my feeling about Stella, I have actually known a few people to succeed and do well in life after coming out of that wreck of a place?!?)
Stella to me was a torture chamber and i dont think for the one week i was there, i breathed oxygen, it was that claustrophobic. But having managed to sit there for a week made me realise that the only form of discipline that i was going to adhere to was, SELF DISCIPLINE.
I came back home one day after college and cried to my mother and begged her to take me out, she accepted but only if i did a subject of her choice in the next college i went to. I conceded to that too. (She wanted me to pursue a BSc in Mathematics :) )
So, then came a lovely sunny morning when i got all geared up to leave the hell hole and voila there was yet another person sitting under yet another tree wanting to leave that college on the very same grounds as i did!!!! (This world did have sensioble people afterall)
And do you know what, that person whom i met under that lovely tree in that ill fated place is my best friend till date and shall always be more than that for the rest of my life, my dearest Uru. The gem that i will cherish for an entire lifetime.
We got along so well and were so happy being with each other that day, it made us feel really close. Its one in a million times that these things happen and its not without reason i guess. My mind vividly remembers the time when we both giggled our way across the road to have some paper photo copied, holding each others hands and coming back only to be chided by our respective mothers for behaving like kids. We were kids then, just 17 and right out of school. What was also funny was how we both said by to out former principal (we had our TC's by then) from under the door and laughed for that too. No one could have seen two happier faces that day.
I guess tomorrow is when i will start my journey with college life and its going to be a long and happy one for me. Happy writing for me and reading for others who might read it!!!!
Ciao...
As I was saying, VM made me feel big today and thats made my day and considering yesterday didnt go too well for me, this was certainly a pleasant break.
My mind is like a boiling pot of milk, sometimes bubbling with loads of joy, anger, sadness and every conceivable feeling. But for most part of it, its in simmer mode, reasonably calm and accepting.
But this very mind at college was a joyous one always. No responsibilities, not much answerability and loads of time to just have fun. Thats exactly how i spent my most beautiful 3 years in Ethiraj college. From the day i stepped into that place, i knew i had my bearings in place and that over oiling would not be required.
Talking about feeling so much at home in Ethi takes me back to be first 7 days of Hell in another place called Stella (This is entirely my feeling about Stella, I have actually known a few people to succeed and do well in life after coming out of that wreck of a place?!?)
Stella to me was a torture chamber and i dont think for the one week i was there, i breathed oxygen, it was that claustrophobic. But having managed to sit there for a week made me realise that the only form of discipline that i was going to adhere to was, SELF DISCIPLINE.
I came back home one day after college and cried to my mother and begged her to take me out, she accepted but only if i did a subject of her choice in the next college i went to. I conceded to that too. (She wanted me to pursue a BSc in Mathematics :) )
So, then came a lovely sunny morning when i got all geared up to leave the hell hole and voila there was yet another person sitting under yet another tree wanting to leave that college on the very same grounds as i did!!!! (This world did have sensioble people afterall)
And do you know what, that person whom i met under that lovely tree in that ill fated place is my best friend till date and shall always be more than that for the rest of my life, my dearest Uru. The gem that i will cherish for an entire lifetime.
We got along so well and were so happy being with each other that day, it made us feel really close. Its one in a million times that these things happen and its not without reason i guess. My mind vividly remembers the time when we both giggled our way across the road to have some paper photo copied, holding each others hands and coming back only to be chided by our respective mothers for behaving like kids. We were kids then, just 17 and right out of school. What was also funny was how we both said by to out former principal (we had our TC's by then) from under the door and laughed for that too. No one could have seen two happier faces that day.
I guess tomorrow is when i will start my journey with college life and its going to be a long and happy one for me. Happy writing for me and reading for others who might read it!!!!
Ciao...
Musings of a mad mind - 2
I was wondering while i was riding to some place this morning if while blogging one had some strict patterns to adhere to and then it struck as being one of the most dreadful ponderings and i'm pretty sure you know why!!!!
I was cribbing about school yesterday and today they do something unimaginable.. I got a cheque from them, for something i did for the school no doubt, but i hardly expected them to be this generous. I guess they have rated me higher than what i rated them. For this i'm certainly grateful for they have given me the confidence that pursuing a career in the field of sports may not be a bad idea for me and I guess a few more pointers in this direction and i will have my path paved.
My mum's just calling me for lunch and I'm going to go and eat, so i guess i will be writing more later today.. until then..
I was cribbing about school yesterday and today they do something unimaginable.. I got a cheque from them, for something i did for the school no doubt, but i hardly expected them to be this generous. I guess they have rated me higher than what i rated them. For this i'm certainly grateful for they have given me the confidence that pursuing a career in the field of sports may not be a bad idea for me and I guess a few more pointers in this direction and i will have my path paved.
My mum's just calling me for lunch and I'm going to go and eat, so i guess i will be writing more later today.. until then..
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
musings of a mad mind- 1
only yesterday did my fiance put in a thought in my ever dull mind.. why not blog about whatever happened at college, school and maybe even one of the best innigs i've played.
as far as the last one goes, seriously i'm yet to play something significant and memorable. I have scored a state level century but that has not been a satisfactory innings. I guess thats primarily because my team failed to qualify for the nationals that year and therefore the runs have no significance.
school to me was not the most enjoyable or memorable part of my life. I spent 12 years in the same school but when i think about it today, i realise that the time spent went by without any emotion attached to it. 12 years is a long time and yet the school has left a void and its something that can never be filled.
i cant comprehend as to why i feel this way. I had the respect of my peers and teachers alike. I was this typical sincere hard working( a quality that has lasted till date, thankfully!!!) student. But i think of myself more as an impulsive person who has many things to offer, but i did none of that in school. yet days, months and years went by without too many apprehensive days.
when i recollect those days, i dont see exciting times. I dont remember how often i've felt like just being at school, not ever wanting to leave. Hardly one day or not even that perhaps. yet, i still have some of my dearest friends from school.
at school i was the sports secretary ( a post that has refused to leave me even in college) but that came because in a school like VM if someone could actually make a concerted effort to run fast then we had leadership qualities, very flimsy reasons indeed. But then it gave me a sense of pride that for a change academics were not the criteria behind holding this particular post.
I can go on rambling about school but i would rather talk of college where i discovered myself. But thats for later....... :)
as far as the last one goes, seriously i'm yet to play something significant and memorable. I have scored a state level century but that has not been a satisfactory innings. I guess thats primarily because my team failed to qualify for the nationals that year and therefore the runs have no significance.
school to me was not the most enjoyable or memorable part of my life. I spent 12 years in the same school but when i think about it today, i realise that the time spent went by without any emotion attached to it. 12 years is a long time and yet the school has left a void and its something that can never be filled.
i cant comprehend as to why i feel this way. I had the respect of my peers and teachers alike. I was this typical sincere hard working( a quality that has lasted till date, thankfully!!!) student. But i think of myself more as an impulsive person who has many things to offer, but i did none of that in school. yet days, months and years went by without too many apprehensive days.
when i recollect those days, i dont see exciting times. I dont remember how often i've felt like just being at school, not ever wanting to leave. Hardly one day or not even that perhaps. yet, i still have some of my dearest friends from school.
at school i was the sports secretary ( a post that has refused to leave me even in college) but that came because in a school like VM if someone could actually make a concerted effort to run fast then we had leadership qualities, very flimsy reasons indeed. But then it gave me a sense of pride that for a change academics were not the criteria behind holding this particular post.
I can go on rambling about school but i would rather talk of college where i discovered myself. But thats for later....... :)
Today is yet another day where I have spent time doing nothing. Its been this way for quite a while now and really dont like it. I too want to have a busy life doing things that keep me occupied, mentally and physically. No doubt I enjoy playing and the process involved in making myself a better cricketer is a thoroughly enjoyable one but for the past one year, my intensity has dropped as far as actual practice goes. My mind refuses to bring its guard down though. perhaps thats the reason why i still manage to be a reasonable performer.
To overcome my boredom I'm getting into the habit of reading and its been working pretty well. There isn't really a particular genre that i prefer, which gives me the opportunity to explore wider areas. Let me wait and see if that gets me somewhere, afterall, time is something i have in plenty at the moment.
I guess thats my frustration vented out for the time being atleast.
To overcome my boredom I'm getting into the habit of reading and its been working pretty well. There isn't really a particular genre that i prefer, which gives me the opportunity to explore wider areas. Let me wait and see if that gets me somewhere, afterall, time is something i have in plenty at the moment.
I guess thats my frustration vented out for the time being atleast.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Back After A Year
This is only the second time i'm writing and its almost a year since i opened this. But this time round things seem to be looking up for me and my regularity in writing will just be a more frequent event.
For a start, next monday i will be engeged to a wonderful man, Nikhil Sivaramakrishnan. Its just been a month since we both decided that we could actually put up with each other and go on to have a family. The wedding is not for another six months but the engagement is a binding factor nonetheless.
My fiance might actually read this some day soon, but thats not going to prevent me from writing why i called him a wonderful man.
I've met alot of people in my profession and I've got very few opportunities to meet genuine men (women are a lot worse though!!!!!) and Nikhil was a refreshing to hear and understand. I just needed to speak to him once and i realised that some of my doubts about marriage can actually be put to rest. If someone can make me feel that way then he is someone i would like to spend time with for the rest of my life. I know I've got a lifelong friend in him.
I've made alot of people faint with my decision to marry. I didnt know that such an announcement would create this much of a stir among my friends and family, in a very happy way ofcourse.. :)
I guess this will just be the beginning of a very long journey that lies ahead of me and Nikhil
For a start, next monday i will be engeged to a wonderful man, Nikhil Sivaramakrishnan. Its just been a month since we both decided that we could actually put up with each other and go on to have a family. The wedding is not for another six months but the engagement is a binding factor nonetheless.
My fiance might actually read this some day soon, but thats not going to prevent me from writing why i called him a wonderful man.
I've met alot of people in my profession and I've got very few opportunities to meet genuine men (women are a lot worse though!!!!!) and Nikhil was a refreshing to hear and understand. I just needed to speak to him once and i realised that some of my doubts about marriage can actually be put to rest. If someone can make me feel that way then he is someone i would like to spend time with for the rest of my life. I know I've got a lifelong friend in him.
I've made alot of people faint with my decision to marry. I didnt know that such an announcement would create this much of a stir among my friends and family, in a very happy way ofcourse.. :)
I guess this will just be the beginning of a very long journey that lies ahead of me and Nikhil
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