The calming effect on the mind of an adult by a sleeping child is unexplainable. Maybe that was the inspiration for the soft rock band MLTR to write the song " Sleeping Child". Its a truly touching and wonderful compilation of all the things a child must be witness to when they grow up. Dont we all want peace and happiness!!!!
But we the elders are lucky in this aspect. We get to watch peace and solitude in the face of a sleeping child and that I'm sure is what we want for our children too. But the question is will they have the opportunity to see a peaceful world?
With the various terrorist attacks and the recent incident in Kashmir involving children as hostages has made me worry about the lives of children who will probably never understand what a wonderful world this can be to live in.
We are all to blame for this. Every issue that is discussed has politics or religion as its base, where is the human element!!! Cant we think for a Man from a Man. Does it always have to be connected with a persons associations and affiliations?
I know I am going nowhere with this discussion, but all that I am doing is introspection of the self. Am I too going to lay back and watch all thats happening around me and make no difference to those around me? Millions of men and women in dire need for assistance in the human form are milling around me and yet I have done nothing for them. The only solace I am getting is from the fact that I have atleast commenced the thought process within me. Someday, and someday soon, I will work to help the lives of atleast a few by making a difference in my little way.
Until such time, let me feel the calm with by watching the child sleep...........
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Lessons I Learnt
My friend Jayashree bought me the entire 9 seasons of X- FILES.. That is something i bugged her about ever since she set foot in American soil and after three years I have got what i wanted. :)
This fascination for X-Files began when i was in my eleventh standard i guess... The initial attraction was FOX MULDER and nothing else and I guess that was how i viewe it for a very long time, even after it had ceased being telecasted on TV.
However, and believe me what I am going to say might seem stupid, I learnt something quite valuable from the serial. The pursuit of something that one really believes in and not stopping until you knw that the end has come.
The end, mind you, maybe good or bad, but heart of hearts the person who truly looks for answers or means to achieving their dremas, aims, ambitions, pursuits and everything else will probably be guided by someone far above us, to help us realise that we have reached the end of the long and winding road.
I am drawing a parallel with myself, because I believe that I know myself best. I have worked hard and I am still working (although not as hard as before) to achieve my undying dream. But off late I have begun to realise that my end is probably getting closer and yet there is a sense of calm around me. I have always got what I wanted, unless I changed my mind about something I desired, and so when my dream of playing for the country came a little closer, I believed that I could actually make it.
But today I know that I wont get there( there is maybe a 1% chance and I have been very bad with probability ever since school, so my guess is I wont play for the country) and that doesnt make me feel like I have not achieved what I wanted. I know and believe that I have worked hard in the limited time frame that I had. Starting at the age of 20 meant that I had to put my ambition on fast track mode and I did. But I guess I got onto the freeway and although I have tried really hard to get back into the highway, I realised that the freeway was leading me to another place, A PLACE WHERE MY SATISFACTION FOR HAVING TRIED WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME.......
This fascination for X-Files began when i was in my eleventh standard i guess... The initial attraction was FOX MULDER and nothing else and I guess that was how i viewe it for a very long time, even after it had ceased being telecasted on TV.
However, and believe me what I am going to say might seem stupid, I learnt something quite valuable from the serial. The pursuit of something that one really believes in and not stopping until you knw that the end has come.
The end, mind you, maybe good or bad, but heart of hearts the person who truly looks for answers or means to achieving their dremas, aims, ambitions, pursuits and everything else will probably be guided by someone far above us, to help us realise that we have reached the end of the long and winding road.
I am drawing a parallel with myself, because I believe that I know myself best. I have worked hard and I am still working (although not as hard as before) to achieve my undying dream. But off late I have begun to realise that my end is probably getting closer and yet there is a sense of calm around me. I have always got what I wanted, unless I changed my mind about something I desired, and so when my dream of playing for the country came a little closer, I believed that I could actually make it.
But today I know that I wont get there( there is maybe a 1% chance and I have been very bad with probability ever since school, so my guess is I wont play for the country) and that doesnt make me feel like I have not achieved what I wanted. I know and believe that I have worked hard in the limited time frame that I had. Starting at the age of 20 meant that I had to put my ambition on fast track mode and I did. But I guess I got onto the freeway and although I have tried really hard to get back into the highway, I realised that the freeway was leading me to another place, A PLACE WHERE MY SATISFACTION FOR HAVING TRIED WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME.......
Friday, August 22, 2008
The Week that Was
Its been a long time since I have done this and there is no excuse for it unless laziness can be termed as a reason.
I have begun listing down the list of people I would be inviting for the wedding. There are some names in that book for whom I have scant respect and in my second round of filtering I will certainly remove most of them. The reason is not because I want to cut down on the numbers, not at all, for me its important that those who come for the wedding actually wish me well and not have an iota of jealousy. One might wonder why the jealousy. Its just that there are a few in this world who cant be happy for others and for me I have alot of people in my cricket fraternity who think that I have got more than I have asked for and that I dont deserve it!!!!!! Yup its beats me too...................
Otherwise the week has been made up of visits to various docs, all for the same problem (in case someone assumes I'm a sick person, in the literal sense!!) and paying each of them a hefty amount. I am kind of getting sick and tired of this, but when i think of Urmi and what she has been going through for the past 6 years, my problems feel like the discarded pluto.. that small..
Preparations for the wedding and also underway. The first purchase was the jewellery. Its a nice piece of work, the pendant. But what was more interesting during the buy was what Aarti (SIL) spoke with the jewellers. It was fun and was certainly a learning experience for me. Quite a few interesting points came forward and everyone of it made sense. :) Good work Aarti!!!!!!!
Next week will involve the purchase of something very very important.. the 'thirumangalyam' and ' koorey podavai', the true symbols of wedding and marriage...... just a few months away.. Am I ready yet???????????????
I have begun listing down the list of people I would be inviting for the wedding. There are some names in that book for whom I have scant respect and in my second round of filtering I will certainly remove most of them. The reason is not because I want to cut down on the numbers, not at all, for me its important that those who come for the wedding actually wish me well and not have an iota of jealousy. One might wonder why the jealousy. Its just that there are a few in this world who cant be happy for others and for me I have alot of people in my cricket fraternity who think that I have got more than I have asked for and that I dont deserve it!!!!!! Yup its beats me too...................
Otherwise the week has been made up of visits to various docs, all for the same problem (in case someone assumes I'm a sick person, in the literal sense!!) and paying each of them a hefty amount. I am kind of getting sick and tired of this, but when i think of Urmi and what she has been going through for the past 6 years, my problems feel like the discarded pluto.. that small..
Preparations for the wedding and also underway. The first purchase was the jewellery. Its a nice piece of work, the pendant. But what was more interesting during the buy was what Aarti (SIL) spoke with the jewellers. It was fun and was certainly a learning experience for me. Quite a few interesting points came forward and everyone of it made sense. :) Good work Aarti!!!!!!!
Next week will involve the purchase of something very very important.. the 'thirumangalyam' and ' koorey podavai', the true symbols of wedding and marriage...... just a few months away.. Am I ready yet???????????????
Monday, August 11, 2008
Back From Mumbai
I dont think to most it would make sense but this is how my mind goes....
The four day visit to Mumbai under the pretext of accompanying Urmi for her IIJS show was fulfilled (no doubt about that i hope) but it also gave me time to spend with my beau, understand the city and hopefully act as a pre cursor to my life there from next year.
When I left from here I tuned my mind to accepting the place as it was. If I was going to live there then I should be liking it!!! There is no point putting up with some place I dont enjoy. Although this trip meant going out, shopping, eating and all that, at no point did i let my guard down. I enjoyed the city for all that it presented towards me. The traffic on the roads, inside malls, the rain, the dust, lack of walking place, Nikhil's friends, his house, his travel to office... everything that i did, I did it with a sense of purpose and understanding and guess what, I loved it :)
I met up with Nikhil's friends one evening and they were all women, three of them to be exact, each very very different in their own ways and each of them made me understand a part of him that would certainly help us both grow. You can judge a man by the friends he has, atleast i think i can. From what little in conversed with them, i know I too can gel with them quite fine. I think thats important for Nikhil that i can communicate with his friends, because they would form an integral part of our lives too.
Nikhil's house...hmm.. I dont know why there was an initial reluctance to take me there, but ultimately he did and I really liked it. You see I need to know his life as a bachelor and what he will be after the wedding on the home front too :) So thanks for taking me there. You have a cute house. This brings me to the topic of his room mate. Guess one reason why they do get along well with each other is, neither interferes in the others way of life and work, while they join together for things they need to do together. They had a good living understanding.
Well, four days of fun, understanding (tiny argument) and enjoyment. I had a lovely time.... :)
The four day visit to Mumbai under the pretext of accompanying Urmi for her IIJS show was fulfilled (no doubt about that i hope) but it also gave me time to spend with my beau, understand the city and hopefully act as a pre cursor to my life there from next year.
When I left from here I tuned my mind to accepting the place as it was. If I was going to live there then I should be liking it!!! There is no point putting up with some place I dont enjoy. Although this trip meant going out, shopping, eating and all that, at no point did i let my guard down. I enjoyed the city for all that it presented towards me. The traffic on the roads, inside malls, the rain, the dust, lack of walking place, Nikhil's friends, his house, his travel to office... everything that i did, I did it with a sense of purpose and understanding and guess what, I loved it :)
I met up with Nikhil's friends one evening and they were all women, three of them to be exact, each very very different in their own ways and each of them made me understand a part of him that would certainly help us both grow. You can judge a man by the friends he has, atleast i think i can. From what little in conversed with them, i know I too can gel with them quite fine. I think thats important for Nikhil that i can communicate with his friends, because they would form an integral part of our lives too.
Nikhil's house...hmm.. I dont know why there was an initial reluctance to take me there, but ultimately he did and I really liked it. You see I need to know his life as a bachelor and what he will be after the wedding on the home front too :) So thanks for taking me there. You have a cute house. This brings me to the topic of his room mate. Guess one reason why they do get along well with each other is, neither interferes in the others way of life and work, while they join together for things they need to do together. They had a good living understanding.
Well, four days of fun, understanding (tiny argument) and enjoyment. I had a lovely time.... :)
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Second Week of Cricket
When cricket starts everything else takes a backseat. That is both good and bad. For instance this is only the second time in two weeks that i have realised that i wanted to blog.
At home both parents and friends alike used to complain that when Cricket practice or matches start then there is a paradigm shift in the other activities I do. But this situation has currently changed, and this time its not because I was any less involved, but my friends and parents have become equally busy :) This does save me from all the lectures that i would have received if they noticed the hours I dont spend at home.
There is a certain level of commitment that I expect with reference to cricket from me and as much as I think I should not worry about how others in the team take, I cant stop myself from getting irritated in the obvious lack of commitment and interest. I have enough people telling me that I should not let others bother me, but just doesnt work. By nature I need to keep talking to my colleagues and discuss improvement in myself and others too. But the past week has been a rather quiet one for me at the ground. I have forced myself to keep mum to all the nonsense that happens around me and it is becomeing exceedingly difficult and so this blog today is like a mini confession of the chances of my losing my temper in the last week of practice. God please forgive if I say real nasty words to those who richly deserve it.
Hoping that things dont go out of proportion, I sign off..... :)
At home both parents and friends alike used to complain that when Cricket practice or matches start then there is a paradigm shift in the other activities I do. But this situation has currently changed, and this time its not because I was any less involved, but my friends and parents have become equally busy :) This does save me from all the lectures that i would have received if they noticed the hours I dont spend at home.
There is a certain level of commitment that I expect with reference to cricket from me and as much as I think I should not worry about how others in the team take, I cant stop myself from getting irritated in the obvious lack of commitment and interest. I have enough people telling me that I should not let others bother me, but just doesnt work. By nature I need to keep talking to my colleagues and discuss improvement in myself and others too. But the past week has been a rather quiet one for me at the ground. I have forced myself to keep mum to all the nonsense that happens around me and it is becomeing exceedingly difficult and so this blog today is like a mini confession of the chances of my losing my temper in the last week of practice. God please forgive if I say real nasty words to those who richly deserve it.
Hoping that things dont go out of proportion, I sign off..... :)
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Days of Never Ending Sleep
The camp organised by TNCA started this monday and ever sionce that happened, my days have been occupied predominantly by just two activities. One is playing cricket for almost 6 hours a day (which is one thing that i love most) and the other one is sleep.
As much as I love the game and playing it night and day, I dont like the fact that I get tired and end up sleeping both during the day and early in the night. While most of those who practice, yearn for this sleep, because some of them get back to work, I somehow dont approve of it much. When I was relatively younger I never slept after practice, instead I would be ready to go out and have fun. But I guess age is catching up with me too. :) But the enthusiasm thankfully remains and I guess thats the most important aspect. Thats what keeps me going despite a whole lot of problems that I have to face internally and once in a way from the outside world.
Anyway, since its the norm that sleep is the best form of recovery I will do it because if it is going to help me play longer then I will do whatever it takes to keep playing on and on and on and on and on.............
As much as I love the game and playing it night and day, I dont like the fact that I get tired and end up sleeping both during the day and early in the night. While most of those who practice, yearn for this sleep, because some of them get back to work, I somehow dont approve of it much. When I was relatively younger I never slept after practice, instead I would be ready to go out and have fun. But I guess age is catching up with me too. :) But the enthusiasm thankfully remains and I guess thats the most important aspect. Thats what keeps me going despite a whole lot of problems that I have to face internally and once in a way from the outside world.
Anyway, since its the norm that sleep is the best form of recovery I will do it because if it is going to help me play longer then I will do whatever it takes to keep playing on and on and on and on and on.............
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Life After The Engagement
Hours of speaking on the phone.. Million messages.. Mushy Talk..
This is what is associated with life after being engaged, isn't it?
Nikhil and I differ big time. We do talk, but for minutes. More often than not the call hardly goes past 5 minutes. The longest we talk will be at night and that too will be on an average for ten minutes. We wonder as to how people keep on chatting. Maybe we have understood each other sufficiently well and the need to talk over the phone is not essential!!!!
I wonder whether the fault lies with me, but this is not a fault, its just the way we are. I'm not the most expressive person (barring my wild temper!!!) but that does not mean i care any less. I infact care quite a bit about the people, its just that when it comes to telling them, I hold back. This is only me thinking out loud for us not being the usual lovey dovey couple.
But both our families completely disagree with us. We are branded as one of the most romantic couples on whom they have set their eyes upon and the only look that Nikhil and I have on our faces is that of a blank one. Are we really like that?!?!?! If we are then GREAT!!!!
Coming to whether I have changed post engagement is a question that i wish to pose to others. The few changes that i have noticed about myself are, one, i care about the way i dress. I dont deck myself and all that but I do ensure that my dress is not the ususal t-shirt and frayed jeans. Frayed jeans have stayed but other forms of dressing have also been accepted by my internal self. Thats a positive according to me.
Well the other thing is my answerability has increased. We take alot for granted with parents. Love and affection is assumed to be available in plenty and also we tend to think a mistake is always forgiven but now its not just one set of parents that I'm answerable to, I have another family and I cant take a few things for granted here. Got to exercise some restraint. My parents are certainly very pleased with that progress in me and so am I.
Nothing else has changed, I THINK. But if has, I would like those close to me let me know. (Nikhil you may not be able to say too many things because you know me as I am today, but if you have noticed something the please feel free to share it :)
But the most important thing is I am not going to change just because I have written about not being what other couples are like. I guess both of us like it this way and are most comfortable. So I'm sorry to all those who expected alot of romance, you wont understand the way Nikhil and I connect, from within.
This is what is associated with life after being engaged, isn't it?
Nikhil and I differ big time. We do talk, but for minutes. More often than not the call hardly goes past 5 minutes. The longest we talk will be at night and that too will be on an average for ten minutes. We wonder as to how people keep on chatting. Maybe we have understood each other sufficiently well and the need to talk over the phone is not essential!!!!
I wonder whether the fault lies with me, but this is not a fault, its just the way we are. I'm not the most expressive person (barring my wild temper!!!) but that does not mean i care any less. I infact care quite a bit about the people, its just that when it comes to telling them, I hold back. This is only me thinking out loud for us not being the usual lovey dovey couple.
But both our families completely disagree with us. We are branded as one of the most romantic couples on whom they have set their eyes upon and the only look that Nikhil and I have on our faces is that of a blank one. Are we really like that?!?!?! If we are then GREAT!!!!
Coming to whether I have changed post engagement is a question that i wish to pose to others. The few changes that i have noticed about myself are, one, i care about the way i dress. I dont deck myself and all that but I do ensure that my dress is not the ususal t-shirt and frayed jeans. Frayed jeans have stayed but other forms of dressing have also been accepted by my internal self. Thats a positive according to me.
Well the other thing is my answerability has increased. We take alot for granted with parents. Love and affection is assumed to be available in plenty and also we tend to think a mistake is always forgiven but now its not just one set of parents that I'm answerable to, I have another family and I cant take a few things for granted here. Got to exercise some restraint. My parents are certainly very pleased with that progress in me and so am I.
Nothing else has changed, I THINK. But if has, I would like those close to me let me know. (Nikhil you may not be able to say too many things because you know me as I am today, but if you have noticed something the please feel free to share it :)
But the most important thing is I am not going to change just because I have written about not being what other couples are like. I guess both of us like it this way and are most comfortable. So I'm sorry to all those who expected alot of romance, you wont understand the way Nikhil and I connect, from within.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
